I found the resolution of the William arc to be so heartrending that I resisted even watching the episode for the longest time. In fact, I resisted season nine in its entirety. Those DVDs sat in their box unopened, their owner sticking to her sworn path of "Deny Everything." When I finally broke down and watched the episode, I was shocked at the cruelty of the writers toward Scully.

I avoid babyfic for this reason. It just makes me sad, because I want to believe in a happy ending for the perfect little family that we got to view, so briefly at the end of season eight. I want to believe and I can't. It didn't happen, something else did, something unimaginable to me, as a mother.

I haven't watched that episode, and I'm not going to. Cruelty is exactly right, but beyond that I can't see the scenario as psychologically realistic at all. Giving a baby up for adoption at birth? Possible, albeit heartrending. I can imagine Scully doing that in season one, say, if she had gotten pregnant accidentally and been unable as a Catholic to go through with an abortion. But in season nine, after her infertility, and having lost and found Mulder, and having given birth to and raised their baby... no. I can't see that she would ever choose that, and if she had to, it would destroy her.

Enough said. I am depressing myself.