I so agree with your first paragraph, since IMO the argument that Iolokus M & S veer from show characterization tends to break down. Approximately as much as the characterization on the show broke down, which was A LOT.

I am not a canon loyalist. Fic writers can create whatever they want, provided they can get away with it. It takes talent. Iolokus is a ferocious display of raw talent.

Yes, the metaphors/similes are sometimes overdone. They can jostle each other. This, incidentally, is a view one can take of Penumbra's beautiful scenes and glittering images. Nevertheless, I love her stuff.