xf_book_club | Story 113: "Fathoms Five" by Penumbra

Fathoms Five was first nominated in September of last year by

scarletbaldy, and then again about a month ago by

antfarmponies. It's been suggested to me informally a couple of times, too. I had hesitated to post it for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that the subject matter is profoundly disturbing.

Yes, THAT IS A WARNING. Email or PM me if you need more specific information before reading this story.

But it's a major work, by a major writer. It's also her best work, in my humble opinion, and I hope we can do it justice. I don't want to say anything more specific for fear of giving away too much. As always, there will be spoilers in the comment threads.

Penumbra's planning to let her website go down soon (sob, I know, another one), so I'm also linking to her journal. Of course, the story is archived at Gossamer, too.

Again, this story contains disturbing material that might be triggering.

At her website, "Fathoms Five." EDIT: This version has a warning that is a spoiler.

And, at her journal: Part One, Part Two. EDIT: This version has no warning posted.

As always, leave feedback for the author, and then come back for discussion. Suggestions for next time may be left at the nomination post.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

one of the reasons this fic is so hard to read - so immensely painful - is because i feel like mulder and scully have gone away. they have become so irrevocably separate from me, in a way they've never been before. so not only is what they're going through horrific, but i can't get to them. i can't be with them. i can't be the...buffer, the one to 'make it right' in my own mind. plenty of stories have evoked a feeling of helplessness in me through my empathy with one or both of the characters, who were helpless. but Fathoms evokes a very different kind of helplessness as well - the personal kind.

i think that is brilliant. because despite the fact that as i read my gut reaction is that i've 'lost' mulder and scully in some way, i'm inadvertently feeling more realistically what mulder and scully must really be feeling. i'm feeling the very thing expressed in the title: "fathoms five" -- the sense of something irretrievably lost (to time); for them in their time, and for the reader in our time. the two sensations of loss/struggle/helplessness the fic evokes - the empathetic, and the personal - run parallel.

i don't think the subject matter of this fic actually is so deeply disturbing to all readers. i don't think the subject matter is anywhere close to as "disturbing" as many fics, in the typical sense that we gauge fictional content by. it really all depends on how the reader feels about mulder and scully already, and how they feel through mulder and scully, and what specific things are long held particular fears in their minds.

because, for me, there is something irreconcilable about this fic - about both what's happening to the characters, and about how i experience the story personally - it is deeply troubling. gorgeous, poignant, compassionate, intelligent, complex, and deeply troubling.

additionally, I've often wondered if the way one would feel towards the story and the characters, having written this fic, would be drastically different from the way it feels to read it. i've wondered if, in writing this, there would come a feeling of being together with the characters, of being stitched to them almost, of still being with them after all this time and right up into this newest turn of their lives. which would be somewhat the opposite of how it feels, for me, to read it: the sudden wrenching realization that they're out of reach. i've never asked, because i felt like it might seem accusatory in some way, which is not how i mean it, and which would be awful. this fic was an exceptional gift simply in getting to read it. but i've often wondered.

and now that i've managed to talk about the fic for several paragraphs without actually having to engage with it *ducks head* -- time for a favorite line! well, okay, maybe not favorite because yeah right, like i can choose, but the one that just...guh - the one that stuck with me and is sticking with me for a very. long. time.

The answer was you, the answer was her. The answer was yes.

This is such a great review, but the part that made me respond was your favorite line--I love that you loved it, because that was actually my least favorite line! It's the only one that took me out of the story for a moment for feeling too maudlin. Isn't it interesting that we could both love a story but respond to completely different things in it? :)

I love that line, too, because it leaves us with at least a little hope.

i've wondered if, in writing this, there would come a feeling of being together with the characters, of being stitched to them almost, of still being with them after all this time and right up into this newest turn of their lives. which would be somewhat the opposite of how it feels, for me, to read it: the sudden wrenching realization that they're out of reach.

I am pretty certain Penumbra was right there with every character, feeling every emotion. This story was just as hard for me to read because she had me right there, too, every step of the way. This story is about death, both of the body and of the spirit, and as such, it is everyone's story.

The thing I feel about Penumbra, whenever I read her fics, is that she falls in love with the characters a little too much, to the point where she's hopelessly in love with the idea of Mulder and Scully. That's understandable, but what happens is that whenever I read her two fics, I don't feel like I'm reading about two people, I'm reading about Penumbra's ideal of two people, and it stops me from connecting with her fics on a visceral level. I don't feel like I'm reading the characters I saw on the show. I think this feeling was exacerbated by the fact that Penumbra took M&S out of the show altogether.

But I still think the biggest problem for me is the language. Sometimes Penumbra hits the right spot with an image, but a lot of the times, I feel like it's overwrought. The opening line, for example, could have been shortened, and it would have been just as powerful, and the same goes for the rest of the fic.

Story 113: "Fathoms Five" by Penumbra

just a little Overwhelming Helplessness

Re: just a little Overwhelming Helplessness

Re: just a little Overwhelming Helplessness

Re: just a little Overwhelming Helplessness