ext_20915 ([identity profile] a-is4addiction.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] xf_book_club 2011-02-26 12:07 am (UTC)

I liked it but I agree that she probably would have checked him over. Also, small nitpick:

Some vicious instinct makes her clamp her back teeth together

I don't like this line. She should have taken "back" out, because the first thing I thought was is it possible to clench only your back teeth?

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