Story 201: "Sandcastles for Pele" by JL

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

Of all the XF fanfic authors I can call to mind, I tend to think of JL (the artist previously known as Jamie Lyn) as the one whose writing has undergone the greatest transformation over the years. Even accounting for the fact that her fics were posted over an almost ten year period, there’s still a remarkable transformation in her work, from the enjoyably dramatic and tempestuous fics of 1999, to some rather more somber, subtle, and conceptually complex fics in later years.

This week’s fic, "Sandcastles for Pele," was recced by selynne. It’s going to be another one of those times when I’m reading along with those of you who haven’t read this fic before. I can, however, at least tell you that it’s post IWTB fic, and that at least part of it takes place in Hawaii - a long way from the DC-basement days of old. In the author's notes JL says, "If I had to describe it, I would say that it is... not at all what you think it is." Going by my memory of some of her other fics, I doubt she’s overstating things.

Send feedback, give us your recommendations, and please do come back for the discussion.


Read Sandcastles for Pele.

Comments

The author reading this

[(Anonymous)]

So it's actually by total happenstance that I stumbled over this today, in a moment of total boredom at work. And am responding to a two-year old post because...I know not why. No, that's not quite true. I guess it's because I want to say, first, that I'm glad people are still reading fanfic. I'm glad X-philes are still out there, still congregating on the net and writing and reading. Also, I appreciate all these comments (critical or not) and thought I'd give you some background, for what it's worth:

When I started writing fanfic I was 17 years old. I think someone upthread said some of my early stuff was good? It's not. It's sooo not. It is in fact so bad that I can't even re-read it, for fear of wanting to throttle 17 year old JL. I was an angry kid. Naieve, painfully awkward, incredibly insecure, ignored by boys, desperate for attention. I grew out of all that nonsense, but I kept on writing, occasionally returning to fanfic whenever I felt blocked or over-emotional or drawn to a David Duchovny teacup photo (we all know the one) and/or found myself trying to piece together a real-life puzzle. And in 2008 (around the time the movie came out) I had just lost my job (literally two days post market-crash.) So I think, in total, I saw IWTB like 17 times. Mostly because I had nothing else to do besides job-search and scream into a pillow about the futility of job-searching. It made me nostalgic, I think, for a time (a simpler time? did I really just type that? Christ I'm old) when I didn't have to worry about the shit I had to worry about.

So I wrote this, much like all my other fics, without any sort of guidance or beta-reader or editor beyond myself. Which was an enormous mistake. HUGE. As a writer in real-life now (of comedy mostly, not so much novels) I know how stupid that is. You NEED an editor. But I was incredibly insecure, very young, and had no idea what i was doing or who I was as a writer. Mostly, fanfic was for me a way of finding my voice. Figuring shit out. Figuring out what did and did not work. Even in 2008, ten years later, that's what it was. Especially as I tried to figure out the specifics of comedy and character and plot. Figuring out who *I* was as opposed to who I wanted to be. What style worked for me, what didn't... in the end what I realized was that it was okay for me to be me. And that it was okay to let go of fanfic.

In the end I want to say thank you for reading. Thank you for taking the time to discuss it, even if you didn't enjoy it, and thank you for the critique, which is welcomed, and for continuing to read and write this stuff. Fanfic saved my life in many ways when I was a teenager, and it saved my life again as an adult, adrift in New York City and wondering if anything would ever become of me, if I would ever go anywhere.

So, the author DID read this, but don't worry. The author is okay with it and is happy to say that she continues to grow as a writer. But first she is going to watch the World Cup USA vs. Belgium game while eating many tiny cupcakes.
- JL

Re: The author reading this

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

This is a thoroughly admirable reply to a discussion that, even with time and distance, could not have been particularly pleasurable reading for you.

For my part, I want to apologize. You see, back when I was co-modding with wendelah1 we generally tried to make sure that at least one of us had positive overall feelings about a fic before we posted it. That way we knew we weren't setting a story up to take too much of a beating. Unfortunately, Sandcastles For Pele was one of the rare instances where a fic was posted before either mod read it (my fault, not Wendy's). Like I said in my original comments: I'd read and liked several of your fics, and hadn't disliked any that I'd so far read, so it seemed like a safe call to put SFP on the block without a pre-read. As it turned out, I was wrong.

Reading back over our comments, I can certainly see how they may have made you feel the need to defend not just the quality of your writing, but also your motivation for writing what you did. That's something I'm also sorry for. Discussing fics as rigorously as we often did/do at the book club, it can be very difficult to make sure our comments always distinguish between a fic and its author. The distinction between "I didn't like the part where [x]" and "I didn't like that the author chose to do [x]" can seem very inconsequential at the time, but looking back, the latter often seems - much to the commentor's surprise and dismay - accusative. And while I suspect that my opinions about Sandcastles For Pele probably haven't changed much in two years, I certainly regret any point in my comments where my criticism of the fic directly or indirectly implied I was critical of you.

I think someone upthread said some of my early stuff was good? It's not. It's sooo not.

Hahaha. I can't recall if that was me or someone else. For the record, I actually did not lie when I mentioned "the enjoyably dramatic and tempestuous fics of 1999." I honestly think (or at least I honestly thought four years ago, which was the last time I read them) that Situational Claustrophobia is pretty adorable, and that The Way I Saw It, while certainly on the melodramatic side, is kind of delicious, in that super-cathartic-shipper-feels sort of way that I enjoy so much.

You will note, however, that I did not, strictly speaking, say they were "good." The difficulty, I find, with classifying a piece of writing as "good" is that it typically requires an absence of things that qualify as "bad." If something has more than a little "bad" in it, we're no longer comfortable with calling it "good." When in reality, some things that have more than a little "bad" in them also have more than a little "good" in them, and where does that leave them? And where does that leave us?

Those early fics of yours have their weaknesses, certainly, their bad as well as their good. But I took pleasure in reading them, for which I thank you. And for the record: my early fics make your early fics look like genius. Hell, most of my not-so-early fics make your early fics look like genius. :)

Also for the record, I should probably issue a general disclaimer that says that all sentiments expressed in this comment are mine and mine alone. I don't speak for the book club or any other participants in our discussion, nor do I mean to imply with my comment that the other participants in out discussion ought to share my sentiments (though they certainly may if they choose).



I hope whichever soccer team you were cheering for won their game, and that the many tiny cupcakes were delicious in their multitudes.