I always hate to be the odd fan out. I wanted to like this story more than I did. It feels off to me. I will try to explain.
I love Punk's writing. She uses language to shape graceful, flowing sentences, and there many passages in this story to quote as examples. The comments before this one covered some of them.
But I like some of her simpler stuff, too. In the opening paragraph, I like this description of Mulder:
He radiated his special brand of flat, nervous concern.
Which leads into this line:
"It's in San Diego," he said, quiet and careful.
Simple stuff but lovely. Just enough description, just the right words. Her Scully in this beginning section is just right, too.
Things start to go awry for me in the next section.
She'd known she couldn't have children even before Mulder had told her. Her periods were reluctant and unreliable, as if her body was unwilling to give up any more blood. She'd gone to the doctor, fearing worse things than infertility. She'd left fearing infertility.
Okay. So did she know she was unable to have children or did she fear it? Because those two states of being are not the same thing.
It made her wonder what else Mulder knew that she didn't. She was upset, but she understood.
It made her "wonder"? She was "upset"? She "understood"? Huh. Myself, I was outraged on her behalf and so I wanted a little more emotion from her about this deception. Scully is self-contained but when she is angry at you, she lets you have it. I think she should have been more pissed off at Mulder at some point in this story. Many writers have dealt with this conflict far more effectively.
No one wanted to tell a woman she would never be a mother.
For pity's sake, she lets him off the hook completely. Punk lets him off the hook. I don't believe this is how it would work out between them. As far as canon is concerned, she seemed pretty pissed off at him in the flashback in "Per Manum." This part doesn't work for me at all.
The structure is interesting, a little artsy but I'm okay with that. As islandofwords pointed out, Punk has these alternating sequences of Scully dreaming and Scully awake, the implication being that she's working out her romantic feelings toward Mulder in the dreams, which turns into romance in her waking life. Ho hum. I would been more interested in a story where she was working out her angry feelings toward Mulder in the dreams. That might have provided some conflict, some reason to doubt the inevitable capitulation to love and romance. As it is, it falls a little flat. For me.
This business she has of Scully waking up, not sure of where she is, not being sure what's a dream and what's really happening. No way. That's absurd. She knows where she is, she knows the difference between being awake and asleep. Yeah okay it represents the conflict between her unconscious desires and oh whatever. That's a metaphor taken too far. If she's really that disoriented, maybe she needs to take a leave of absence.
Since I am late to the party, everyone else has already quoted the stuff I would have quoted; my favorite was the bit about the decoder ring that write_out loved too.
I think this must be a season six or seven story, not season five, because she says at one point that "After seven years she was only beginning to understand Mulder." I feel the same way, oddly enough.
Grumpy Noromo Checking In (better late than never)
I love Punk's writing. She uses language to shape graceful, flowing sentences, and there many passages in this story to quote as examples. The comments before this one covered some of them.
But I like some of her simpler stuff, too. In the opening paragraph, I like this description of Mulder:
He radiated his special brand of flat, nervous concern.
Which leads into this line:
"It's in San Diego," he said, quiet and careful.
Simple stuff but lovely. Just enough description, just the right words. Her Scully in this beginning section is just right, too.
Things start to go awry for me in the next section.
She'd known she couldn't have children even before Mulder had told her. Her periods were reluctant and unreliable, as if her body was unwilling to give up any more blood. She'd gone to the doctor, fearing worse things than infertility. She'd left fearing infertility.
Okay. So did she know she was unable to have children or did she fear it? Because those two states of being are not the same thing.
It made her wonder what else Mulder knew that she didn't. She was upset, but she understood.
It made her "wonder"? She was "upset"? She "understood"? Huh. Myself, I was outraged on her behalf and so I wanted a little more emotion from her about this deception. Scully is self-contained but when she is angry at you, she lets you have it. I think she should have been more pissed off at Mulder at some point in this story. Many writers have dealt with this conflict far more effectively.
No one wanted to tell a woman she would never be a mother.
For pity's sake, she lets him off the hook completely. Punk lets him off the hook. I don't believe this is how it would work out between them. As far as canon is concerned, she seemed pretty pissed off at him in the flashback in "Per Manum." This part doesn't work for me at all.
The structure is interesting, a little artsy but I'm okay with that. As
This business she has of Scully waking up, not sure of where she is, not being sure what's a dream and what's really happening. No way. That's absurd. She knows where she is, she knows the difference between being awake and asleep. Yeah okay it represents the conflict between her unconscious desires and oh whatever. That's a metaphor taken too far. If she's really that disoriented, maybe she needs to take a leave of absence.
Since I am late to the party, everyone else has already quoted the stuff I would have quoted; my favorite was the bit about the decoder ring that
I think this must be a season six or seven story, not season five, because she says at one point that "After seven years she was only beginning to understand Mulder." I feel the same way, oddly enough.