Story 231: "In Oculus Mentis" by adrenalin211

[wendelah1]

If memory serves, I first read "In Oculus Mentis" back when it was posted in 2011 for that year's het big bang. It was a good read, so good that I feel stupid for not posting it here sooner. It's an alternate universe version of "Requiem." Fix-it fic, you could call it. Some days we need that.

In Oculus Mentis (40078 words) by adrenalin211
Chapters: 10/10
Fandom: The X-Files
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Characters: Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, Walter Skinner, Cigarette Smoking Man, Marita Covarrubias, The Lone Gunmen, John Doggett
Summary:

After conversations that jolted her off her axis of controlled calm, she’d put her hand on her stomach and shut her eyes. She’d allow herself to feel Mulder’s absence, because she knew that feeling would feed her persistent drive to find him, to get answers to the endless list of queries that lived, constantly awake and invasive, inside of her body.

Or if you prefer, posted in five parts at Livejournal: In Oculus Mentis. Scroll down for the prologue.

Let the author know what you think (or at least hit the kudo button at AO3). Please let us know what you think. And remember, the nomination post linked on our sidebar is always open for your suggestions.

Comments

[adrenalin211.livejournal.com]

WOAH! I was scrolling through my friends page when I saw this and did a double-take!! And then it suddenly made sense why I was suddenly getting (what I thought to be) out-of-the-blue kudos over on AO3. :)

I'm so entirely flattered that you showcased my story here. Thank you so much! I know that XF fanfic community isn't nearly as active as it used to be, but these characters will always have a special place in my heart, and I'm totally honored to be on the list of recommended stories in this book club.

[tri-sbr.livejournal.com]

Hello! I've been lurking for a few months, and finally decided to create an account so I can properly participate. Apologies in advance for any new-person breaches in ... anything.

I enjoyed reading this story. It could have served as an end to the series (with some ends actually tied up) as opposed to the s8/s9 we were given. Although, the ending is probably "too happy" to fit with the tone set in the rest of the show (not that I am complaining, I like a happy ending if it's at least somewhat believable, and this one can fit somewhere along that spectrum).

A few things that stood out to me:
- Mulder addressed his letters to Dana (but Scully in the body); was that supposed to help tip her off that there was a hidden message in the case of the first letter? If not, it (the Dana part) seems odd. Also, strange that Scully didn't immediately notice that the first letter did not sound like things Mulder would say at all, but maybe we can chalk it up to exhaustion/grief/hormones.
- While Mulder's memories of Scully are keeping him sane, we also get Scully's memories (which are doing the same for her). Scully's memory of the faux-slumber party was nice; the banter ("Truth or dare, painting our toe-nails...") rang true to me.
- I loved Mulder's memory of re-enacting his bird incident for Scully years before. It was (I'm inferring/assuming) before any romantic involvement, and showed the true friendship at the foundation of their relationship and how much it means to Mulder. He invited her over to tell her this silly story, to make her smile, to have her there. And then, it's one of the memories he decides to pull out and revisit during the experimentation/torture. Nice. And funny. ("Was it The Raven?" ... "How could you be certain you weren't whistling its mating call?" ... "You're the bird, Scully. You tell me.") Of course, it also foreshadows his escape with the help of an unexpected ally. If that makes it slightly contrived, I can overlook that and just enjoy the story/memory for what it is.

In the first scene where Mulder was being experimented on, and he is choosing to remember Scully, I was worried that his memories of her were going to be wiped out. I so did not want that to happen (shades of The 13th Sign/7 Days In May, a story that broke my heart into small bloody pieces); that's probably partly why I liked where the story DID end up going. I wasn't in the mood for heartbreak :)

I don't have a strong opinion on the revelation of the actual conspiracy - alien technology that the US is saving for its ultimate power grab while manipulating the public into being scared of an alien species which is in fact slowly dying. Did I even get it right? Anyways, this wasn't the important part of the story to me, and it made enough sense that I just went along with it. Someone could probably convince me that I misunderstood completely, and/or that it actually made no sense.

I will quit now, while I am ahead (if I am still ahead...). Thanks for posting this story!

[(Anonymous)]

You wrote M/S beautifully! I'm bummed you haven't done more XF fanfic. I would totally read it. Please consider revisiting?