Story 46: "Untitled: Scenes for Quiescence" by JET

[wendelah1]

When lightlack nominated this story back in May, I asked if she would mind if we delayed discussing it until XFIWTBPPPTFAT! She was gracious enough to agree.

This might be an interesting story to compare and contrast to Anjou's "Ghosts," as it has many of the same elements: Mulder and Scully are on the lam, and hey, look, there's William, too. JET has a lyrical style that works especially well in this lovely, post-"The Truth" vignette.

Untitled: Scenes for Quiescence

As always, let the author know what you think, let us know what you think and give us your suggestions for after XFIWTBPPPTFAT!

Comments

[ktds.livejournal.com]

I was re-reading this fic, which happens occasionally because it's JET and it is still as lovely as ever. Mulder and William through Scully's eyes is just beautiful.

I was wondering why no-one commented on this story and just realized it was posted after the release of the second movie. lol.

[wendelah1]

It is lovely. The best parts are the little domestic details of life with a toddler, and watching Mulder become reacquainted with his son.

A suds-covered William sits in the tub, slapping together two washcloths and seeming entirely unperturbed. She peeks in the big bedroom and finds Mulder standing by the dresser, looking spooked.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

Mulder says, "He bit me," holding his right hand like it's been mangled.

Scully opens and closes her mouth before saying, "He's two and a half."

"He bit me," Mulder says, sounding bewildered.

She repeats, "He's two and a half. That's what two and half year olds do. He probably just wanted to see how you'd react." She gently takes Mulder's hand, examines it. Small tooth marks are faint on the back and she swallows a laugh. "Although I doubt anyone would've expected you to run out of the room."

"What do I do now?" Mulder seems so genuinely baffled she wants to hug him.

Instead, she says, "You go back in there and tell him not to do it again." She skips the lecture about how little water it takes for a child to drown and leads him into the bathroom.

"Don't bite," she admonishes William, leaving Mulder to deal with his attacker in private.

After Lea goes home, Scully sticks her head into the bathroom, where William, looking grouchy, is coloring the back of Mulder's hand with an orange soap stick.

"I'm making him disinfect the wound," Mulder says.

This is perfect.

I don't like the ending particularly or the part about how they got back William. It's too cryptic for my literal minded-brain. I'd rather she'd not have told us anything about it than give us that jumbled mess of an explanation. Every time I read it I get irritated all over again. Plus what's the significance of the map in the car? I feel incredibly stupid but no one yet has explained to my satisfaction what that ending was about.

While it's not my favorite of hers by any means, it's still way better than 99% of what's out there.

[ktds.livejournal.com]

Plus what's the significance of the map in the car? I feel incredibly stupid but no one yet has explained to my satisfaction what that ending was about.

Hmmm... I always thought it was William's "powers" returning or something.

[wendelah1]

I kind of assumed that, too, but why should I be having to assume it and why now, I mean in the story? What does it mean? Why the map? And what was all that stuff about the hospital and the chips arriving in time and why would Olive throw her child at them? Why was he getting a transfusion of a mixture of their blood and how on earth did Scully talk the hospital into doing that? What the hell was going on in that scene?

Nothing made sense and I'd have thought it might have all been made clear by the end but no, not really. Just more questions.

I guess her betas are all genius types or can read minds or something.

[bmerb.livejournal.com]

She stated that it wasn't beta'd so maybe that explains that. I hated the hospital explanation scene too, but thought maybe the map was from a ghostly Krychek?

[wendelah1]

I don't know. I can't begin to guess where she was going with this and why it was posted unbetaed. She belonged to a couple of groups of writers (Scullyfic and I think Yes, Virgina), and beta help could have helped make this story more coherent.

There are too many problems for me to enjoy it at this point. In fact, I get aggravated just thinking about that ending. I know some readers are willing to give her the benefit of the doubt because she writes vivid description and has decent, though by no means perfect, characterization. She shaves off the sharp edges of both characters, making them conform much more to standard romance types, a common failing among fic writers. On the other hand, the scene I described as "lovely" is indeed lovely. She has a real knack for that kind of scene and for creating atmosphere. Her original characters are great, too. Plotting was not her strong suit, that's for sure.

Maybe I've gotten too picky. She was a talented writer and she certainly got much better over time. "Small Lives Awake" is a wonderful story, for example.