Story 200: "a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" by zauberer_sirin

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

Gosh, look at that startlingly large number in the heading! It appears that our little (but oh-so-tenacious) community has reached its two-hundredth fic.



Cheers everyone!

I must say, I’ve been adoring you guys’ recommendations even more than usual lately. There have been a few fics I am particularly fond of come up, including a very recent rec by littlegreen42, which I am going to pounce on immediately like a cat on a jubilant grasshopper. It was written in the pre/post IWTB era, making it relatively new by this fandom’s standards. It’s short – but with an endearingly long title – and the prose has an idiosyncratic sort of poetry about it. Ultimately, I think the author herself sums it up best when she says, These are not all the ways and whys and hows Mulder loves Scully, just some. In reverse.

Read a weatherman to know which way the wind blows by zauberer_sirin

Comments

[nailseabelle24.livejournal.com]

Has anyone noticed the sly reference to James Joyce in 'chapter' 11, where Mulder mentions attending a Joyce seminar while at Oxford? I had a 'Eureka!" moment at that point and wondered whether the author was subtly sign-posting her inspiration for the Mulder "stream-of-consciousness" narrative (less obvious in the early parts, but more noticeable later on in the story). If that was a hint of what she was attempting to emulate I thought she did partially succeed with her noticeable lack of punctuation in places, and long, rambling, slightly disjointed sentences. I thought this was quite effective.
On the subject of this fic focusing heavily on Mulder's thoughts/state of mind, I'd like start by positioning myself firmly on the Mulder side of the fence here. I do love Mulder-centric stuff because as I've said before, I am a Mulderist, but also a shipper (sorry Wendy) so a huge part of me really enjoyed reading him as a love-struck, 'pile of mush' ; I suppose that secretly I hope deep down that maybe, just maybe, this might be an accurate insight into Mulder's actual thoughts at each stage of his relationship with Scully. It made me want to go and have a mini-rewatch of some of these scenes all over again in the light of this interpretation. However, that said, I did shudder a little at the rather too familiar, over-used fanfic trope of Angst!Mulder and his over-active guilt complex. I just can't quite see where fanfic writers got this idea from but it pops up everywhere in fanfic, almost as if it is based on actual canon (fanon more like!). I've watched the whole 9 Seasons over several times and I just don't see this guilt-tripping, "I'm such a bad person" Mulder to any great significance in the show itself, so I wonder where this trope originates from, and - oh dear, now it's here too, in this otherwise excellent story. However, despite the criticism, I did still greatly enjoy reading this and re-reading it a second time was a pleasure. Great choice.

[estella-c.livejournal.com]

Well, as for the guilt trope, I suppose writers are reacting to Mulder's obsession with the loss of his sister, the rejection by his parents, the havoc the search and associated adventures have on Scully's personal life, etc. There are plenty of reasons for a guilt complex (think of his hallway behavior when Bill Scully calls him a "sorry son of a bitch"), but I would say he handles himself well despite all that. He is energetic, determined, focused, and pretty funny at times.

I've heard English fans criticize the notion of Mulder taking lit classes at Oxford if he was into law enforcement. It does seem like a kidnap from DD's own past. But it never bothered me a bit.

[nailseabelle24.livejournal.com]

I agree that there are good plot indicators as to why Mulder should have feelings of guilt, but if he is experiencing them to the extent often described in fanfic, then I find it hard to believe that this wouldn’t manifest itself more in his outward behaviour.  In canon, as you have stated yourself, he seems a little too confident, if not arrogant, to be as cowed/insecure inside as he is so often depicted in fanon.
Re the James Joyce literature seminar I referred to, of course I wouldn’t dream of trying to comment on whether Mulder could have attended literature classes at Oxford while doing a psychology degree. Despite being English, I’ve never been to Oxford as a student, and feel hopelessly unqualified to pass judgement on that subject. My intention was to draw attention more to James Joyce himself and his style of writing (i.e as seen in ‘Ulysses’) & possible connections to the writing techniques employed in this story.  Happy to be shot down over that if everyone thinks I’m barking up the wrong tree!

[littlegreen42.livejournal.com]

I think Mulder very clearly has a guilt-complex toward Scully, and I think it does manifest itself quite a bit in his outward behaviour. One thing I can think of is the way in which the people behind the conspiracy tried to convince Mulder that Scully had been given cancer to "make him believe." That, to me, shows that they understood Mulder's mental process, that he does in fact have guilt over the fact that Scully's work on the X-Files has often led to negative consequences in her life.

And yes, Mulder does seem confident and arrogant on the outside, but some of that, I think, is an act. You can see indications that Mulder doesn't really like himself that much, or realize that how much he means to others -- specifically, to Scully. In "End Game," he travels to the arctic to find the alien ship and leaves this note to Scully: Scully, when you get this message, I will be too far away for you to stop me, but where I'm going I cannot allow you to follow. I won't let you jeopardize your life and your career for reasons purely personal to me. You were right, Scully... you said a line has to be drawn somewhere. I'm drawing it for you here. I'll contact you when I can. Mulder doesn't seem to be taking into account that Scully would miss him if he were lost, he wants to protect her from danger herself, but he doesn't seem to realize that she would be hurt if he were the one in danger.And then there's the hallway scene in FTF, where he tells Scully that he owes her everything and that she owes him nothing. I don't think he's just saying those things to manipulate her, I think really doesn't understand how much she values him. There is a clear sincerity to that scene. (I'm not saying that he *always* and *only* believes she doesn't value him much -- I think a lot of the time, he does realize that she does, it's just when he's dealing with difficult emotions, he can sometimes go into that dark place where he's more insecure).

A person can seem confident on the outside, but that doesn't mean they're free from insecurities. Mulder's a man, and even though he's not the kind of guy who's overly concerned with seeming "macho," he at least realizes that showing vulnerability is considered a bad thing for someone of his gender, and I think that he does a good job of hiding his insecurities behind stoicism and overconfidence, but I think they're still there, and they can be seen. I think that Mulder being both confident and insecure makes him a more complex and interesting character. I don't think it's a case of "is Mulder confident, or is he insecure?" I think it's both. Sometimes he's so sure of himself he does stupid things, but at other moments you can see some insecurity. I don't think it's all just fanon.

[estella-c.livejournal.com]

Good analysis. As for hiding his insecurities, that's probably part of the FBI agent skill set. Who wants a fibbie who admits he's worried about how to handle a gun.

[nailseabelle24.livejournal.com]

I take your views completely on board and you have in fact mentioned a couple of examples of where I had noticed that Mulder does show some signs of insecurity, so I do concede that point, along with the one you make about how a person can seem outwardly confident while being pretty insecure underneath. I don't know what else to say here except that I still feel it's been rather overdone in this story, to the point of emasculation (as an earlier commenter described it), and to the point where I start feeling almost embarrassed for him. I really adore the character of Mulder, and this take on him is kind of sweetly endearing, but I still don't accept that this portrayal is completly true to the canon character (but we all see & interpret the characters in differing ways, so it's no surprise that we don't completly agree!)

[littlegreen42.livejournal.com]

I would say he handles himself well despite all that. He is energetic, determined, focused, and pretty funny at times.

He does handle himself well, but that doesn't mean he's completely emotionally healthy on the inside. A lot of people can seem outwardly fine, but not be so in their own minds. I think it's a misconception that, because someone seems confident, or because they joke around, then they couldn't possibly be depressed or insecure, or whatever.

[estella-c.livejournal.com]

Well sure. I imagine one of the great draws of writing fanfic is inventing inner lives for the characters, since in real life we have to guess. Frankly, I'm still guessing (occasionally) about David Duchovny's inner life.

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

wondered whether the author was subtly sign-posting her inspiration for the Mulder "stream-of-consciousness" narrative

This is an interesting idea, but I’m going to be the wet blanket and say I doubt it. From what I’ve read of Joyce (Ulysses and Dubliners) the slightly unstructured narrative of “Weatherman” doesn’t even come close to his often nearly indecipherable stream of consciousness style. Not to mention that everything I remember of Joyce’s writing was frenetic and grim and utterly lacking in romance (everything Joyce writes feels soiled to me), while this fic is merely the reflections of an off-kilter psyche, deeply rooted in intimate adoration, and exceedingly romantic.

I suppose that secretly I hope deep down that maybe, just maybe, this might be an accurate insight into Mulder's actual thoughts at each stage of his relationship with Scully.

Me too, nailseabelle, me too. And I’m not even a Mulderist!

I just don't see this guilt-tripping, "I'm such a bad person" Mulder to any great significance in the show itself, so I wonder where this trope originates from

Putting aside the issue of whether it is or isn’t grounded in canon for a moment, I think one of the reasons guilt-stricken, self-devaluing Mulder is so popular is because some fans like to see that kind of vulnerability and sensitivity in him. Personally, I find it helps me connect to the character. Inner torment means, among other things, a rather complex and active inner life, albeit a painful one. But healthy is boring, I say. *g* Ultimately I’m inclined to trust a character who is plagued by self-doubts more easily than a character who isn’t, because it suggests they are considerate. They are acutely aware of their own fallibility, and the consequences of screwing up, and they are also likely to dearly value those who stand by them. I also like to root for the underdog in most situations. This is my opinion, and it’s really only the short answer, but I’ll quit now, before I try to further dissect this issue without getting any sleep.

[nailseabelle24.livejournal.com]

Glad you thought the Joyce idea worth airing and I do take your point, I was just throwing it in to stimulate some kind of discussion of technique - so thanks for your interesting opinion on the matter. I did rather think I was stretching the point a little too far, but what the hell!

[littlegreen42.livejournal.com]

I think one of the reasons guilt-stricken, self-devaluing Mulder is so popular is because some fans like to see that kind of vulnerability and sensitivity in him. Personally, I find it helps me connect to the character.

Ah ha ha, I feel like I could have written this. I just find vulnerable, sensitive Mulder immensely attractive. Sometimes fic portrayals of him go ridiculously overboard (and I have to be honest here and say that, although I nominated this fic, I haven't reread it yet so I don't remember if this fic does that, or not), but I think he does, at least, have some level of insecure vulnerability to him. I mean, everyone does, to some extent.

Inner torment means, among other things, a rather complex and active inner life, albeit a painful one. But healthy is boring, I say. *g* Ultimately I’m inclined to trust a character who is plagued by self-doubts more easily than a character who isn’t, because it suggests they are considerate. They are acutely aware of their own fallibility, and the consequences of screwing up, and they are also likely to dearly value those who stand by them. I also like to root for the underdog in most situations.

If Mulder didn't have that vulnerable, insecure side to him, I think I'd find him insufferable. His arrogance is only easy to take if you believe that at least part of it is an act. I think I wouldn't like him if he really was as overconfident as he sometimes appears to be.