xf_book_club | Story 238: "Telephones" by cucumberspy

For some reason I feel really confused by this (it's late & I'm very tired).
I feel like I don't understand what's happened in this story or perhaps I am right and it's simpler than I think...
Anyone care to gimme a synopsis?

I'll try, although I may not have gotten it right. (Others please correct me if I'm wrong.)

The William in these scenes is a memory, or a ghost. He's actually dead, or given away to the aliens in order to save everyone else ("It was the whole world"). Scully sacrificed him, and now understands more/relates to what Bill Mulder must have felt when he gave up Samantha ("We've all had to give up someone"). Scully plans to kill herself ("I'm coming"/"I have to go") but she has one last thing to do first--to tell Mulder.

You're right. This is exactly what happened, except I'm positive he wasn't given to the aliens. He was sacrificed to save the rest of humanity. My guess is they did a procedure to take out whatever it was that was "in him" that would save humanity and William didn't survive the operation. She was the parent who was there to give consent, who was willing to take the risk of his not surviving--"it was the whole world"--and she was there--holding William's hand when he died. Then she had to go back and tell everyone else--in the war room--what had transpired.

The biblical parallels are obvious--and this is a logical extension of the miracle baby plot device.

I didn't pick up on her plan to kill herself except tangentially: what else would someone in her position do? "I'm coming." That line just sent chills down my spine.

There are little clues left all through the story but as a reader, I just didn't want to see them. I didn't want to believe it.

This is a far more tragic ending to the series than even 1013 could have tolerated and definitely more than the fans would have accepted. But it is an ending that makes better thematic use of William's birth than having Scully give him up for adoption "to keep him safe." In a world threatened by alien colonization, no one is safe. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I think 1013 used the story of Moses for that one, with adoption standing in for leaving William in a basket floating down the river... I do think William was intended to be the savior of mankind.

Telephones. This is my take. Scully keeps trying to make herself call Mulder on his emergency only number. But she can't do it. She probably tried before William died, too, but knew Mulder might not agree to the procedure. Probably worried about revealing his location to whomever. Tried after, several times, in order to hasten her own death, so she wouldn't have to complete her journey. But she couldn't make the call. She had to tell him in person.

Okay, this further explanation is also excellent. It has helped me process my own thoughts about things. Thank you!

You're welcome. Thanks for asking! Your question got the discussion going nicely.

I didn't understand the reference to Doggett's face in the war room, so that makes it clearer. (And now that I think about it, of course. He also lost a child.)

The plans to kill herself were very obvious to me. Especially "It wouldn't be so far down" when she's looking down at the ducks in the icy pond. And for me it infuses the whole story: she has to fulfill this last responsibility, telling Mulder, but the utmost importance in her mind is reserved for the place she has to be.

"I'm coming" is an interesting line--there's several mentions of coming and going. Mulder's note to her says "Please come", at the end she says "I have to go".

The suicide plan seem clear now that I look back. "I'm coming" has to be spoken to William. You're right, the entire story is about this one last task she has to do here, tell Mulder that their son is dead, then she can go to him.

yes...I hadn't thought of the Doggett-Luke connection; good catch.

Okay thank you. That makes a lotgof sense and I could see that in the story. Thanks for the explanation!

This is SO sad. Although

firefish's comment has me wondering if I misunderstood anything, still. Jeez.

I'll be interested to read if others interpret the story differently. I thought the small memories (?) of William interspersed were very emotional, once I got to the end and figured out what had happened. I wonder what the telephones mean. They're pivotal to the story, but I wonder about the significance.

I think your interpretation is mostly right. See comment above.

Yes, this is the saddest XF fanfic story I've ever read. Nothing else comes close for me. Not stories where Scully dies or Mulder dies or even the Gunmen's onscreen death, though that comes close. I think it's because as horrifying as it is, this is a logical place for The X-Files to end. It ties everything together, and forces us to give another look at what Bill Mulder did in sacrificing his daughter to buy them time to try to save the rest of humanity. "We've all had to give up someone."

Yes, very sad. I'm glad it wasn't longer.

I think the telephones, in addition to referring to the fact that Scully has been trying to bring herself to call Mulder to tell him about William (as was mentioned), also could serve to remind us that, for the rest of the world, life is going on and people are oblivious to the danger they have just been saved from. (I'm thinking of the beginning where the older woman is waiting to use the payphone because her granddaughter is running late. A mundane worry to contrast with what Scully is going through and with the danger the world has narrowly avoided.) I do wonder who is calling Mulder's telephone at the end.

Yes. I think the contrast at the beginning with the woman who is in a hurry to call her granddaughter, oblivious to the sacrifice that's been made to save them both is particularly poignant. During the series, there are so many scenes between Mulder and Scully that take place on the phone, too, as well as scenes where a missed phone call is pivotal. Occasionally phone calls bring us news from faraway, both good and bad, but just as often they're an annoyance.

The phone call at the end could be anyone but since no one knows where Mulder is in hiding, it's most likely a salesperson or someone taking a survey: another example of how life goes on around us in the midst of our personal tragedies.

Yeah, a good point about the telephones. They could also imply missed connections and miscommunications--she leaves her cellphone on the bus, she can't follow through with the phonecall at the payphone. This one last connection that she has to get right.

Missing the bus for much the same reason she can't make the phone call. Even once she's arrived, she can't say the words out loud.

I agree that Scully is planning to kill herself. But, I'm not sure by the end that she will end up following through. Mulder's reaction to her confession is absolutely in character, I thought. As he begins to understand what she is saying, he pulls away from her, but almost immediately reaches back out to her like he is never letting go.

He doesn't touch her and she waits to be unmoored. Soon, she thinks. Inside, the telephone squalls.

She strikes him once on the sternum and starts to crumble. His hand stutters against her shoulder and she backs down, mumbles, "I have to go," but he snares her. "I have to," she says.

"No. Scully," he says then, his voice stretched and hoarse as he begins to understand. His embrace is hollow, first, then fierce enough to choke. "Scully, Scully," he whispers.

I feel like you can see the burden of the pain shifting, not that that makes it easier. So sad.

I definitely think Mulder will try to stop her from killing herself. But I don't think she'd ever truly come back from a loss like that, especially since she'd hold herself responsible for his death as long as she lived. I'm not one who ordinarily believes suicide is the only option but in this case, since we know in The X-Files universe there is an afterlife, perhaps she would be better off, though that would leave Mulder to grieve on alone.

I agree. I don't think either one of them is ever getting over William or what Scully had to go through.

This one is much, much worse but that's pretty much how I feel about the canon "resolution" to the William arc, too.

Yeah, I agree, I think it's left unresolved whether she will follow through. I actually really like that it's left ambiguous whether this is a hopeful ending or not.

The fic is a great example of how to tell a story without over-telling it. There is just enough revealed to get the story across but it's never overdone or overwrought. What's not said is just as important as what's on the page.

Damn. This is good. Where did this writer go, I wonder? Her email address bounced right back.

Where did this writer go, I wonder?

The author's notes on another of their stories, "Most Frail Gestures", say they were on scullyfic. Old scullyficcers might know where they've gone. (I mean "old" in terms of the list being old, not the members ;) I'm surprised at how many former XF writers have been turning up on AO3, writing in other fandoms. The listed pseudonym feature was a good idea.

As an aside, "Most Frail Gestures" (thank you for pointing to it, I had not read it before) is a lovely story as well. I feel like I go down a rabbit hole where I get led from one fic to another to another - it's a good thing, but there are so many and I am so far behind!

I really liked that story too. I hadn't read anything by this author before.

Gosh. I read this when it was first posted here but I just couldn't bring myself to comment. I was paralyzed with grief, I suppose. This is absolutely the saddest story I've read, to the point where I felt numb for hours after reading it and then again when reading through the comments here.

I'm thankful for this group for confirming my thoughts about what was happening - it's swimming in so much emotion it was perhaps it took a little too much effort to wade through the clues? I'm not sure if I would have wanted it to be any clearer, though. Perfect details, perfect imagery, and just enough negative space. Exceptionally well done, but I'm so glad there wasn't any more to read. Heavy on the heart.

Gosh. I'm sorry this had such a negative effect on you. I tried to warn people it was a major downer but I guess that wasn't enough. I agree that this is by far the saddest story I have ever read in this fandom. For better or worse, analysis helps me keep a certain distance--usually. Didn't work with "Fathoms Five" but I have different triggers.

Perfect details, perfect imagery and just enough negative space.

That sums it up well.

Thanks so much for commenting.

For me it definitely took me some concentration to be able to figure out exactly what was going on, or maybe to confirm what I thought was. I didn't think it was written vaguely, just layered like a puzzle, so the reader had to do a little work.

It is very sad. I think it's the details of William that make it sad for me--here he seems like a real little person, rather than in several other fics I've read about him dying he doesn't have much personality beyond alien miracle baby.

Haunting. Gorgeously written. The author is not afraid to let us fill in the blanks for ourselves.

Maybe it's just my own optimistic filter on things, but I see this ending on a hopeful note. Scully teeters on the edge of despair for the entirety of her journey, shouldering the aftermath of her decision alone. She wants to succumb, but forces herself instead to reach Mulder. She has to know on some level that he will not let her go, and that they'll be able to share the burden of grief together.

The writing is exceptionally fine, on that we agree.

I just can't see any light at the end of this tunnel for them. As I read this, Scully is in despair, not on the edge. She's so immersed in grief and self-loathing that she can hardly function, and is barely clinging to sanity.

I think of myself as an optimistic person but any story that has a parent grieving the loss of a child feels pretty grim to me, and this goes way beyond that because of the element of sacrifice. She was forced into a decision, into a choice no parent should ever have to make. Sharing grief in my limited experience is better than facing it alone but just barely. This has changed her life forever, and probably Mulder's as well. Humanity is saved but I can't see how they would ever recover.

Story 238: "Telephones" by cucumberspy

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject