Story 238: "Telephones" by cucumberspy

[wendelah1]

This is probably one of those stories that got recced everywhere back in the day. It's so good I wish I'd written it. Cucumberspy has a lovely, spare style, plus an ear for dialogue and an eye for detail. Season nine, AU, thank God.

There are warnings on the author's header. Heed them.

Summary: She thinks there's nothing anyone can take from her now.

Read Telephones.

SPOILERS IN THE COMMENT THREADS.

Comments

[discordantwords.livejournal.com]

Haunting. Gorgeously written. The author is not afraid to let us fill in the blanks for ourselves.

Maybe it's just my own optimistic filter on things, but I see this ending on a hopeful note. Scully teeters on the edge of despair for the entirety of her journey, shouldering the aftermath of her decision alone. She wants to succumb, but forces herself instead to reach Mulder. She has to know on some level that he will not let her go, and that they'll be able to share the burden of grief together.

[wendelah1]

The writing is exceptionally fine, on that we agree.

I just can't see any light at the end of this tunnel for them. As I read this, Scully is in despair, not on the edge. She's so immersed in grief and self-loathing that she can hardly function, and is barely clinging to sanity.

I think of myself as an optimistic person but any story that has a parent grieving the loss of a child feels pretty grim to me, and this goes way beyond that because of the element of sacrifice. She was forced into a decision, into a choice no parent should ever have to make. Sharing grief in my limited experience is better than facing it alone but just barely. This has changed her life forever, and probably Mulder's as well. Humanity is saved but I can't see how they would ever recover.