I really don't agree with this whole "she was just parodying" thing. You've suggested it about several different aspects of the fic, but I see no evidence, and little indication, that Jordan was anything less than serious. I think she was writing the fic as well as she could in the time allotted.
What about the sex scene bothers you so much (besides the cucumber, which I have already agreed was not the best choice of similes)? Quotes of parts you find particularly bad would help me to understand why this sex scene, which to me is vivid and pretty, though somewhat OTT, strikes you as so very unsatisfactory.
I'm pretty triggery when it comes to rape stuff. I'm certain it wasn't meant to be a serious line.
Something doesn't have to squick a person out in order to be a poor choice of words. Obviously the point was that resisting the bond they felt for each other was futile. But there are things you just don't say during or about a sex scene, and "resistance is futile," is one of them. IMO it's not funny, it's not clever, it just strikes a really off note.
It's fine to have a flash-back or two, but this was too mixed up for my taste. I shouldn't have to make a g-ded timeline on paper to keep track of what happened when in a fanfic story. Frankly, it doesn't work all that well when JET uses it either, most of the time.
This is going to be one of those places where we agree to disagree, I guess. I love JET's writing, evocative writing, and non-linearity with no-holds-barred, and I love the evocative and non-linear nature of this fic. In fact, it's what made me like the fic so much to begin with, and it's what's diminishing my opinion of it now that I see some of the ambigousness and suddenness of the writing was merely the product of me having skipped a chapter.
I don't see how the non-linearity in TTF undermines the narrative. I like a fic that makes me curious and a bit confused, so long as I feel my confusion can be sorted out by paying careful attention to the narrative. To me that's often the most involving and rewarding kind of reading. I like being made to wait, and trust, and puzzle things out a bit.
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winterfish
Re: 2/3
Date: 2011-11-06 11:12 pm (UTC)What about the sex scene bothers you so much (besides the cucumber, which I have already agreed was not the best choice of similes)? Quotes of parts you find particularly bad would help me to understand why this sex scene, which to me is vivid and pretty, though somewhat OTT, strikes you as so very unsatisfactory.
I'm pretty triggery when it comes to rape stuff. I'm certain it wasn't meant to be a serious line.
Something doesn't have to squick a person out in order to be a poor choice of words. Obviously the point was that resisting the bond they felt for each other was futile. But there are things you just don't say during or about a sex scene, and "resistance is futile," is one of them. IMO it's not funny, it's not clever, it just strikes a really off note.
It's fine to have a flash-back or two, but this was too mixed up for my taste. I shouldn't have to make a g-ded timeline on paper to keep track of what happened when in a fanfic story. Frankly, it doesn't work all that well when JET uses it either, most of the time.
This is going to be one of those places where we agree to disagree, I guess. I love JET's writing, evocative writing, and non-linearity with no-holds-barred, and I love the evocative and non-linear nature of this fic. In fact, it's what made me like the fic so much to begin with, and it's what's diminishing my opinion of it now that I see some of the ambigousness and suddenness of the writing was merely the product of me having skipped a chapter.
I don't see how the non-linearity in TTF undermines the narrative. I like a fic that makes me curious and a bit confused, so long as I feel my confusion can be sorted out by paying careful attention to the narrative. To me that's often the most involving and rewarding kind of reading. I like being made to wait, and trust, and puzzle things out a bit.