3/3 - this really is a ridiculous amount of commentage
Section six (post pusher). Nnnggghhh. The whole fucking thing. God. Seriously, this might actually be my Pusher headcanon.* Okay, not really, but it’s definitely my Pusher headsmut!canon (which either exists or I’m officially making it up, because doesn’t everybody have a smutty version of the show they can lay right over top of the other version, like translucent, pornographic drafting paper? *coughs* No?)
*Although a small voice in the back of my mind cannot help saying, “How about you ask Scully how she feels about this idea of yours, Mulder, before starting in with the shoving her anywhere or the fucking her at all, okay?” But I’m gonna presume that it was meant to be tacitly understood that he would make sure she was into it too.
Also—
because this is one of those times (and Mulder has watched how those moments have grown so often and near that they are practically his whole life now) when he cannot afford to touch Scully for the fear he might never stop.
The brackets! The way it comes out in this stutter-shook jumble! The angsty, unbearable hotness of it all! (And apparently ‘stutter-shook’ is not an actual saying, just a line from a song, but darn it I’m using it anyway.)
No, he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. You don’t get it! I don’t want her to die because I don’t want her to die!
Sure, he feels guilty, and if Scully dies the guilt would become sort of permanent, but if Scully dies, he wants to tell the world, guilt will be the least of his concerns.
Love this, love this, LOVE this. Also, I think it’s at least a little bit true. Of course Mulder felt guilty about failing to protect another important female in his life, but he also seemed to be genuinely at a loss without her. Plus, “the guilt would become sort of permanent” is just great.
All of section two (Ice). Again, guh, so hot.
-everything blown to pieces, months of denial and not my type and the first friend you’ve had in years, don’t fuck it up gone in a heartbeat because all he wants to do right now it put his mouth to the back of her neck and possibly never ever stop touching her.
God, I just—wow this is sexy. The rampant denial and guilt-ridden lust-management are so delicious. The mental image of S1 Mulder refusing to be hot for Scully because he already needs her too much is…*waves hands around inarticulately*
now he is going to have to deal with the knowledge (of what he is, of what he wants, of what she means), probably for the rest of his life. Or until she has the good sense of walking away. Which he’d say should be sooner than the rest of his life but in his line of work he wouldn’t bet on that either.
How is this so clever? That Mulder would say (or think) something like this with that deadpan pessimism of his is…it’s so distinctive of him, almost definitive of him.
But that night, coming back from Oregon, it’s the less alone he’s felt in years.
I’ve never really been sure how I feel about the last line of “Weatherman”. Obviously the adjective “less” does not agree with the rest of the sentence, yet the way “less alone” is put in italics, singled out, makes it seem like its own singular concept. “Less alone” becomes a sensation, something in the present, a continuing lessaloneness, while also inherently acknowledging the aloneness of his past. Whereas, if you write “least alone” you pin the meaning down. It’s not a sensation anymore. It’s a quantity (“least”) and a quality (“alone”). There’s not the same vitality in it – literally, there’s not the same living quality.
That said, it’s still a stumbling block, and four words from the end of a fic is not generally a good place to be tripping the reader up on odd grammar. So I don’t know if I like it or not.
It is memorable, though. I’ve thought that one fragment of a line – “it’s the less alone he’s felt in years – quite a few times to myself. It does feel quite strongly a certain way.
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2012-03-16 10:05 am (UTC)Section six (post pusher). Nnnggghhh. The whole fucking thing. God. Seriously, this might actually be my Pusher headcanon.* Okay, not really, but it’s definitely my Pusher headsmut!canon (which either exists or I’m officially making it up, because doesn’t everybody have a smutty version of the show they can lay right over top of the other version, like translucent, pornographic drafting paper? *coughs* No?)
*Although a small voice in the back of my mind cannot help saying, “How about you ask Scully how she feels about this idea of yours, Mulder, before starting in with the shoving her anywhere or the fucking her at all, okay?” But I’m gonna presume that it was meant to be tacitly understood that he would make sure she was into it too.
Also—
because this is one of those times (and Mulder has watched how those moments have grown so often and near that they are practically his whole life now) when he cannot afford to touch Scully for the fear he might never stop.
The brackets! The way it comes out in this stutter-shook jumble! The angsty, unbearable hotness of it all! (And apparently ‘stutter-shook’ is not an actual saying, just a line from a song, but darn it I’m using it anyway.)
No, he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. You don’t get it! I don’t want her to die because I don’t want her to die!
Sure, he feels guilty, and if Scully dies the guilt would become sort of permanent, but if Scully dies, he wants to tell the world, guilt will be the least of his concerns.
Love this, love this, LOVE this. Also, I think it’s at least a little bit true. Of course Mulder felt guilty about failing to protect another important female in his life, but he also seemed to be genuinely at a loss without her. Plus, “the guilt would become sort of permanent” is just great.
All of section two (Ice). Again, guh, so hot.
-everything blown to pieces, months of denial and not my type and the first friend you’ve had in years, don’t fuck it up gone in a heartbeat because all he wants to do right now it put his mouth to the back of her neck and possibly never ever stop touching her.
God, I just—wow this is sexy. The rampant denial and guilt-ridden lust-management are so delicious. The mental image of S1 Mulder refusing to be hot for Scully because he already needs her too much is…*waves hands around inarticulately*
now he is going to have to deal with the knowledge (of what he is, of what he wants, of what she means), probably for the rest of his life. Or until she has the good sense of walking away. Which he’d say should be sooner than the rest of his life but in his line of work he wouldn’t bet on that either.
How is this so clever? That Mulder would say (or think) something like this with that deadpan pessimism of his is…it’s so distinctive of him, almost definitive of him.
But that night, coming back from Oregon, it’s the less alone he’s felt in years.
I’ve never really been sure how I feel about the last line of “Weatherman”. Obviously the adjective “less” does not agree with the rest of the sentence, yet the way “less alone” is put in italics, singled out, makes it seem like its own singular concept. “Less alone” becomes a sensation, something in the present, a continuing lessaloneness, while also inherently acknowledging the aloneness of his past. Whereas, if you write “least alone” you pin the meaning down. It’s not a sensation anymore. It’s a quantity (“least”) and a quality (“alone”). There’s not the same vitality in it – literally, there’s not the same living quality.
That said, it’s still a stumbling block, and four words from the end of a fic is not generally a good place to be tripping the reader up on odd grammar. So I don’t know if I like it or not.
It is memorable, though. I’ve thought that one fragment of a line – “it’s the less alone he’s felt in years – quite a few times to myself. It does feel quite strongly a certain way.