re: the last line. It sticks with me, I think, because I don't like it. It's very jarringly incorrect to me, and I took that feeling with me away from the story.
It could have been "it's less alone than he's felt in years" and I wouldn't notice a difference in the emotive quality of the language.
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2012-03-16 10:34 am (UTC)It could have been "it's less alone than he's felt in years" and I wouldn't notice a difference in the emotive quality of the language.