I like the feel of the story, other than that last line (ha). The weird jumping around in subject fits well for the character's internal thoughts. I also like the dialogue and the way it becomes a part of his thoughts, blending together until it's part thought, part recollection.
Admitting to not being a fan of Scully in your author's notes is never a good way to get me on side, though, and I think the author's difficulty with the character comes through clearly in the story. Even through Mulder's rose-tinted glasses, she comes across as kind of a jerk, as not really worthy of his devotion. I cannot imagine Scully saying really, Mulder, for such an egotist you are so insecure, because it seems like such an attack on his character, which she never does. (I have no such problem with turn that damn thing off, although I note that Canon Scully can sleep through just about anything).
I like some of Mulder's thoughts in terms of the relationship. For me they would work better as part of a bigger story, maybe? In the context of this (short) story, it feels like Mulder spends all his time and thoughts on Scully.
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winterfish
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Date: 2012-03-16 11:13 am (UTC)Admitting to not being a fan of Scully in your author's notes is never a good way to get me on side, though, and I think the author's difficulty with the character comes through clearly in the story. Even through Mulder's rose-tinted glasses, she comes across as kind of a jerk, as not really worthy of his devotion. I cannot imagine Scully saying really, Mulder, for such an egotist you are so insecure, because it seems like such an attack on his character, which she never does. (I have no such problem with turn that damn thing off, although I note that Canon Scully can sleep through just about anything).
I like some of Mulder's thoughts in terms of the relationship. For me they would work better as part of a bigger story, maybe? In the context of this (short) story, it feels like Mulder spends all his time and thoughts on Scully.