This was awesome, although I'm usually among those who don't like anything too gut-wrenching. I really liked the author's poetic and kind of stream-of-consciousness style. There were a number of lines in the story that stood out to me. It's a good, solid story, but the quality of the prose makes it great. Like this paragraph:
Her hair, it's never been this long (that he knows), she keeps it in a braid mostly and he thinks, when he remembers such things, that she looks more like her sister Melissa now. But he has trouble remembering his mother's face, and so he might be wrong.
I really like that there's kind of a rhythm to the words here and in a few other places in the story, a beat, like poetry or a song. Another part I liked (and that has the same kind of beat):
A child has led me to these woods, he thinks, and like so many times before, like so many times since They came, he doesn't know if he is quoting someone or if he made it up. The words are heavy and they don't go well with what he remembers of himself, of what he was like - his words were lighter, before.
That said, I'm not sold on the characterization. Mulder (the POV character) was recognizable, but I thought the characterization of Scully was odd. In particular this was weird:
In bed, most nights, she slaps at his hands and it hurts. And so he keeps his hands to himself, and in his sexual fantasies she looks like she used to look in DC, short hair and smart suits and all.
Ew, and also if she's slapping his hands away most nights the second sentence ("he keeps his hands to himself") doesn't make sense. Also ew.
(And then:
What he plans for when he's been slapped away by Scully and he's lying next to her, hurting.)
Stop whining Mulder, it's the end of the damn world. Try to get your priorities straight.
I also thought the characterization of Doggett was...strange? Non-existent? It seemed like he was an original character who the author just decided to name Doggett. He didn't really bear any resemblance to the character in the show, that I could see. I don't think I really understood what I was supposed to understand from him.
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2012-08-15 11:49 am (UTC)Her hair, it's never been this long (that he knows), she keeps it in a braid mostly
and he thinks, when he remembers such things, that she looks more like her
sister Melissa now. But he has trouble remembering his mother's face, and so he
might be wrong.
I really like that there's kind of a rhythm to the words here and in a few other places in the story, a beat, like poetry or a song. Another part I liked (and that has the same kind of beat):
A child has led me to these woods, he thinks, and like so many times before, like
so many times since They came, he doesn't know if he is quoting someone or if
he made it up. The words are heavy and they don't go well with what he
remembers of himself, of what he was like - his words were lighter, before.
That said, I'm not sold on the characterization. Mulder (the POV character) was recognizable, but I thought the characterization of Scully was odd. In particular this was weird:
In bed, most nights, she slaps at his hands and it hurts. And so he keeps his
hands to himself, and in his sexual fantasies she looks like she used to look in
DC, short hair and smart suits and all.
Ew, and also if she's slapping his hands away most nights the second sentence ("he keeps his hands to himself") doesn't make sense. Also ew.
(And then:
What he plans for when he's been slapped away by Scully and he's lying next to
her, hurting.)
Stop whining Mulder, it's the end of the damn world. Try to get your priorities straight.
I also thought the characterization of Doggett was...strange? Non-existent? It seemed like he was an original character who the author just decided to name Doggett. He didn't really bear any resemblance to the character in the show, that I could see. I don't think I really understood what I was supposed to understand from him.