Story 2: "Things that Lie Outside" by JET

[emily-shore.livejournal.com]

Our new story was chosen by wendelah1. It is an AU version of "Paper Hearts."

"Things that Lie Outside"
by JET
(jetpaine@yahoo.com)
(eviljesemie@yahoo.com)

December 2002
Scullyfic/Emuse Secret Santa Swapfic

Let us know what you think; let the author know what you think; and please, nominate a story for next time so that I don't have to pick again!

Comments

[hooves.livejournal.com]

The original link is gone as this person has deleted their journal. A detailed search found me the ‘fic at an archive, though: here (“http://ioho.org.uk/thingsthatlie.txt”).

I realize this is old and expect no one else to comment, but seeing as how I’m not sure if any of the emails are intact as well at this point, to contact the author, I feel that leaving some kind of comment somewhere is better than nothing—and maybe I’ll try the listed email, too, just in case. :)

Anyway, I think this story hits stride maybe ¼ of the way through. The first quarter-ish had some very poetic scenes and moments, I think, but it was hard to follow: I couldn’t help but think that the author sacrificed clarity for poetry, a mistake that did dissipate early enough into the tale.

I really enjoyed the Paper Hearts episode. It was tense and mysterious and one of the best episodes this series gave us, I think, in terms of fueling doubt and confusion. Seeds were sown with that episode, and not just to the audience. The impact on the characters was amazing, particularly on Mulder.

Some of my favorite early moments are the lines about “the look” that Mulder would have told a living, adult Samantha about, a look that would become “their secret.” It’s so sweet and innocent and normal that it jogs something in the reader’s brain. Like, all he ever wanted was normalcy and he hasn’t ever had that in his life, not ever, but especially not after Samantha was taken away.

There are a lot of scenes in this that are touching, that mean something, but this is the scene where I knew the story had found its footing, so to speak:

["I will," she managed, wanting at that moment to be
better than she was at about a million things. Words
were in her way, had been for weeks, little cement
roadblocks. Treacherous traveling. He was leaving
and she wouldn't see him until Monday and Samantha was
taken twenty-three years ago today. Scully wanted to
rush him, throw him against the wall in a hug fierce
enough to...to what? Make it all right his sister was
gone? Red light hung at the corners of her eyes, hazy
and burning.]

In context I think it means more than it does out of context, but there’s so much to relate to here, so much hidden in Dana Scully’s desire to be better at about a million things. Emotion, expressing herself, being a better friend, a better partner, a better daughter, a better sister. God, and you know at this point she just simply feels as if she’s not good enough in general and it colors this entire story. She’s working her ass off to do this, to help Mulder in this way because this is how she feels she has to help him, now.

Plus, I think it’s really important to her character to understand and show that Scully wants to be comforting sometimes, but she’s just—she’s not good at it, and she never has been, and maybe she never will be. I relate to her so hard on this; like she wants to make things better but she knows she doesn’t have that power: nobody does. But it sucks to be that person, and it was really nice to see all of that condensed down into this short little paragraph.

[Was wearing her softball
uniform, a church dress, a Halloween costume made out
of aluminum foil. Had freckles, liked peanut butter,
could do long division, could cut paper dolls, loved
hiking in the woods.]

And this is where it starts to feel…real—where Scully’s ability to handle this kind of case slips beyond reason. These details make her feel too close to the case, I think, and her predisposition for liking children makes it worse. Her connection to Samantha through Fox makes it harder. Samantha must have been like this, too, had these kinds of interests and hobbies and I don’t think these are things Fox Mulder talks about often to other people, not in detail, not the small things that are written on these kinds of reports. He doesn’t have to write them down because the only person ever on Samantha’s case was Fox himself, and he keeps those things in his head, probably so close to the surface he can’t ever forget them. Sees it in High Definition when he closes his eyes.

(1/2)

[hooves.livejournal.com]

[She tried to
forget choking. She tried to forget holding Mulder,
sometime in the dream before she died.]

This really adds to it. This case has a grip on her at this point. Now there’s no turning back.

Mulder’s an interesting character, and viewing Scully through his particular lens is fascinating when it feels done correctly. JET does a great job of getting into Mulder’s head, of showing his inner thoughts without stating them. During the wretched dinner party, this particular bit struck me hard:

[He says his farewells, finds his coat. Drives home,
straight home. Does not go to her and kiss the
bruised shadows under her eyes, does not tuck her
inside a blanket and whisper that he will always want
to be her friend, no matter what, that she can tell
him anything, anything at all, even good bye.]

This is a man who cares more than he’s capable of admitting in a breath. Scully’s change in behavior bothers him, scares him, but what I think hurts him the most about it is that she’s not talking to him, not telling him anything, and he feels as if he’s losing her somehow, perhaps on several levels. The saddest thing about it is really that he’s so attached to her, cares so much about her, but so rarely takes the time to tell her even in actions, that I don’t think she could ever know how much he wants to just take care of her sometimes, wants small and simple things for her, like for her to believe she’ll always have his friendship, for her to get enough sleep, for her to be warm and comfortable and to feel safe around him because he would never, ever hurt her, and especially not in retaliation for her needing something for her life that did not involve him.

There’s just so much to like about this:

[He pictures
her there against the restaurant's dark leather
browns, linen creams and royal blues. A bottle of
wine, filet mignon or timbale with lobster and crab or
rack of New Zealand lamb, warm coconut cream cake; and
still nothing as opulent as the way she talks to him
sometimes, when everything's okay.]

Him thinking of her laughter as goofy and wonderful? I love it. It’s so fitting. Of course he would think that. And he would think of an amazing dinner spread and find that all of it pales in comparison to her being okay—to things between them being okay, to them just…talking—while the world feels hushed around them.

["Asshole," he whispers to himself.]

This was easy to picture and just more proof that this author really knows how to write Mulder.

[She's shivering from fatigue and
he doesn't know what's happened and she's injured, he
realizes. This isn't about her and some romance, or
even her and some desirable other job. She's been
harmed.]

What’s interesting is how Scully changes as the story progresses, how she gets further and further away from him and folds up into herself. She’s good at that.

(2/3)

[hooves.livejournal.com]

[when pain arrives and stays it can be
difficult to remember that we are not alone, that we
can be healed.]

This is excellent. Suggesting Mulder might be an excellent hugger though he seems the sort to never say the right thing? A nice touch as well. But this was just really sweet.

[A gang of Skinners.]

Frankly, the humor that wasn’t also angsty was a nice touch.

["Thank you," Mulder repeated, voice cracking, his
dirty fingers tangling with hers.]

This was a good moment. Understated but still packed a bit of a punch.

[Saves you, he thinks. Save her too.]

These lines were extremely strong.

I like that the ending is written as “an end” and not “the” end. Personally I feel it’s an admirable way to end a story like this, one emotionally charged, focused not so much on the x-file being solved but on the characters’ emotions. They come to a head and are still strong and real and overpowering at the close of this story, and to say it is “the” end implies finality when we know that for these characters who stumble through life together in search of truth, the very implication of finality in such a moment as this is, quite frankly, offensive and a gross misunderstanding of not only the series as a whole, but of their characters. A brilliant, but small, writing choice.

I did enjoy this read, though it made me stay up much later than intended, tonight, and though I’ll be exhausted at work tomorrow. Still, some sacrifices must be made in the name of engaging writing! Thank you much for the suggestion. I regret only that I came to watch the series so late in my life, and that I was not here during the LJ heyday to discuss this story with the rest of you. ♥

(3/3)

[wendelah1]

Thank you so much for commenting. It means a lot to know that people still find this community useful.

I go through and check for broken links periodically. This last time was depressing. Finding out that JET had deleted her fic journal was a blow. There are so many snippet fics that are just gone now. The moral of that story is if you like it, save it to your hard drive.

As for the rest, I've checked through story 27. So far, more are broken than not. I sent a list with new links to the former moderator, emily_shore, for the first dozen fics, asking her to edit and fix them, but I think she was out of town. I know she's back now. If I don't hear from her soon, I'll write her again. I feel bad about the broken links but unless it's my own post, I can't fix them.

Most of the stories we've read here are at Gossamer or Fugues Fiction Archive. If you can't find something easily, let me know.

It's been too long. I'm going to have to reread this fic to comment further.

[hooves.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's very useful! I enjoy reading what other people's comments were, too. In fact, reading the comments before the 'fic helps me decide whether or not I want to read the story.

I'd wonder why JET deleted but recently I deleted all of my 'fic written before 2014 (on old accounts) and it was such an honestly liberating feeling. I left my contact information and told people they could contact me if they wanted to re-read something from back in the day, but I couldn't leave that stuff up for people to read: it was atrocious.

JET's 'fic--at least this one--was rather well-done, though. It's a shame everything was taken down, but I get how it is, as an author.

I'll keep looking through 'fics over the coming weeks and I'll try to drop comments when I can! I'm not sure many of my comments will be as long as this one was, though. :D

[wendelah1]

That link you found isn't working right now. I found it at Musea: Things That Lie Outside.

It's a constant struggle with these links.

It's also at Gossamer, however. JET's Author Page.

[hooves.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's because there's a random quotation mark inside the html (because I was way too tired to be typing when I wrote that. Thanks for those links, though! I'll try to look at this Gossamer place first; it seems to be the go-to archive. :D