Story 71: "Waiting for Agent Right" by Kel
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wendelah1 posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
xf_book_clubWe have reached the last of the travel theme stories. Travel theme, you are thinking? Never mind.
We are just doing humor this week, as a change up from last week's very plotty, angst-laden offerings. This week's story was nominated by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hlbr. As I recall, in "Waiting for Agent Right," it is first season, Mulder and Scully are in the first class lounge of the "world's ugliest airport," waiting for a weather-delayed flight. Agent Mulder is getting high on free champagne; Agent Scully is not. Hi jinks ensue.
Waiting for Agent Right
For those of us with way too much time on our hands, I am arbitrarily introducing a new feature, to appear maybe every week, maybe not. I like to keep you guessing.
It's a Book Club Rerun: go check out our discussion on The Airport by the great Jess M. Have fun!
As always, go read, come back, we'll talk. If you have a suggestion for reading, you can let us know here. And remember, asdashakay is always telling us, feedback matters.
We are just doing humor this week, as a change up from last week's very plotty, angst-laden offerings. This week's story was nominated by
hlbr. As I recall, in "Waiting for Agent Right," it is first season, Mulder and Scully are in the first class lounge of the "world's ugliest airport," waiting for a weather-delayed flight. Agent Mulder is getting high on free champagne; Agent Scully is not. Hi jinks ensue. Waiting for Agent Right
For those of us with way too much time on our hands, I am arbitrarily introducing a new feature, to appear maybe every week, maybe not. I like to keep you guessing.
It's a Book Club Rerun: go check out our discussion on The Airport by the great Jess M. Have fun!
As always, go read, come back, we'll talk. If you have a suggestion for reading, you can let us know here. And remember, as
dashakay is always telling us, feedback matters.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 02:59 am (UTC)There was a lot of great dialogue. I would quote my favorite bits, but then this comment might get very long :) I also enjoyed that text that wasn't dialogue that was humorous. The line The tyranny of the
bride went so much further than that. is going to stick in my head I think.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-16 05:14 pm (UTC)I love humor, and nobody does it better. Kel writes a beautiful, clear, shapely line, and while she may not be as persistently quotable as, say, RivkaT, it's because her wit is firmly embedded in the characters and the situations they get themselved into, and is not so detachable. That said, I think that "Scully spent hours each week trying to reorient Mulder to reality. This was the first time she'd had to reorient him to fantasy" is one of the funniest things ever written. (Because, of course, She's Scully and he's Mulder.)
You're not a "shipper" Wendy, and I guess you're right that there's no actual ust here, but really I see relationship subtleties all through "Waiting for Agent Right." S is experiencing irritation and a sense of inferiority to begin with ("Mr. Oxford Education," "Why should I be responsible for serving you refreshments?"), but seeing M becoming disheveled and self-revealing puts her into a more confident and appreciative frame of mind. "He had beautiful manners, most of the time. Positively courtly." Then the nipple ring crack.
Oh, my, yes, this ship will sail. "So Mulder really did want to see her in something sheer and white. That wasn't part of his act.
Scully filed the memory next to one labeled 'Mulder's failed marriage.' Both went into a folder marked, 'Too much information.'"
We know that folder is going to be opened at a later time.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 02:31 am (UTC)You're not a "shipper" Wendy, and I guess you're right that there's no actual ust here, but really I see relationship subtleties all through "Waiting for Agent Right."
Well, sure. Kel has their first season relationship nailed. They are as cute as buttons, both in the series and in the story. I giggle all the way through this passage:
Scully never bought this magazine, but she would peruse it whenever it
crossed her path. Now she tried to interest herself in an update on
the new technology in bubble baths and aromatherapy.
Who wrote this stuff, Scully wondered. Did anyone really talk like
that? Maybe she could contribute an article, something about the
special needs of FBI agents...
"Can I read it when you're done?" Mulder's voice was whiny with
boredom. He'd been staring at the cover, waiting for her to notice
him.
Scully lowered the magazine and met his eyes. They'd been working
together almost a year, and the awkwardness and mistrust of the early
months was gone.
"Mulder, they run an article like this every month, and it's always
the same six tips and the same secret spot," she said. She had to
give him credit, though. At least he'd stopped studying the cover
girl's cleavage long enough to read the copy.
"Not that one. Look. 'Stuck in a Time Warp?' Lost time, Scully!"
She closed the magazine to look.
"It says, 'Stuck in a FASHION Time Warp,'" she corrected him.
Mulder sniffed his lack of interest, but then he seemed to change his
mind.
"Scully, you could use a new look," he said.
This is all too true. Mulder knows it. Scully knows it. We all know it. But Gillian is pregnant, so those big coats aren't going anywhere for awhile.
Ouch. Scully had never been confident in the area of wardrobe or
hairstyle. Men had it so easy. Mulder, in particular, always looked
great. The bastard.
"*You* could use a new tie," she retorted feebly.
Their eyes met until Mulder turned away.
"I could use a new toaster," he mumbled.
Not for a moment did she interpret the shift in topic as the result of
drunken meandering. He hadn't meant to hurt her feelings, and he was
deliberately backing off.
Which is true. Mulder is drunk but he isn't cruel.
"They're not that expensive," she said, following his lead to a safer
subject. "The top-of-the-line toaster oven is around a hundred bucks,
and it'll even bake potatoes or frozen dinners."
"I don't want another toaster oven. They always burst into flames,"
Mulder said.
She would have to tell him about cleaning his toaster oven, Scully
decided. She would wait until he wasn't shitfaced.
Good plan, Sculls. I can so hear her thinking this.
"Okay, regular toaster. Let's see," she said. Reaching into the
pocket of her trench coast, she drew out a strip of paper. "Here's a
four-slice toaster for forty-five dollars."
Mulder was impressed and delighted.
Mulder is easily impressed when he's three sheets to the wind, isn't he?
"How about a microwave?" he asked.
Scully consulted her list.
"Well, here's one for two-ninety-nine, but I don't think you'd want
something that big," she said.
"A Glock thirty-two C?" he queried.
"What?"
"I tried one at the range and I like the feel," Mulder explained.
"I'm sorry, but they don't sell firearms at House-to-Home," she
answered.
Mulder is the straight man here, Scully gets to make the joke.
This comment was too long so I've broken it in half.
comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 02:33 am (UTC)Ursula's Unmentionables.
Whoever had decided to place a branch of this lingerie chain in the
airport had tapped into an eager market. Far from home was the easiest
place to buy naughty nighties.
Scully hid behind a rack of queen-sized peignoirs. Unless Mulder was
shopping for himself, he wouldn't be browsing through this section.
I think that must be a little tip of the hat to David Duchovny's appearance as Agent Denise Bryson on Twin Peaks.
"I'm not looking for PJ's with little bunnies on them, I just want
something that wouldn't embarrass a goddamn whore on Bourbon Street,"
Mulder was saying.
A big-bellied man in seersucker appointed himself to teach Mulder some
manners. Or perhaps it was the bee-hived woman on his arm who had
appointed him.
"Now, look here, sir," the man said. "Just because you don't like the
merchandise doesn't give you the right to insult the patrons or use foul
language in front of my wife."
Mulder bowed his head repentantly.
"I'm sorry if I offended you or your wife," he said. "I have nothing
against whores, nothing at all. Please accept my apology."
All is forgiven, Mulder. You are irresistible, plus Scully has a buzz on now.
Oh, my, yes, this ship will sail. "So Mulder really did want to see her in something sheer and white. That wasn't part of his act.
Scully filed the memory next to one labeled 'Mulder's failed marriage.' Both went into a folder marked, 'Too much information.'"
We know that folder is going to be opened at a later time.
Yeah, but I think it's more fun watching them do this than see them moping around in IWTB, scratchy beard scene not withstanding. Maybe if he had kept the beard. I like beards.
I can't help it. I just prefer the early seasons, before all of the bad things start to happen. Scully's abduction, Melissa's murder, the cancer, Emily. And it only goes downhill from there. The RST has too much emotional baggage attached and mostly, with rare exceptions, I would just rather not even think about all of that. I just want my scary show back, with Mulder and Scully out to face down all enemies and save the planet. That's all. How did I start in on this?
Never mind. Maybe we need to read another humorous story, but I can't think of one offhand that isn't by Kel. I know they must be out there.
Any suggestions, anyone?
Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 10:47 am (UTC)As to other humorous stories? Hard to say, as I think our tastes do tend to differ more often than they align, but I'll give it a shot and consult my "humor" tag on delicious...
Well, I've developed a bizarre love recently for fic I lovingly label as "meta fic," as in ones that examine silliness or slip-ups on the show, or are written from a bizarre or humorous perspective. Sadly, there are few out there that are really good. Here's what I've got though, for whatever it's worth:
Dear Mr. Mulder by Wombat (hilarious 3rd POV)
Untitled Random Casefile #4664 by Jess M. (classic author insert parody)
M. Luder, King of the "SETI Troopers" Fanfic by Livia Balaban (another classic, though it does focus, in an odd way, on the more depressing latter years)
Flea Market Economy by PunkM (complete classic, and has actually made me cry tears of laughter)
Sure, there's some odd stuff in there, but... well, I'm an odd duck. (I also maintain that the last story there is the one and only time I'll ever, EVER read gender-swap. I just don't think anyone but Punk could pull it off.) I've got a Kel story in there too, "Ricochet," but I'm sure you've read (if not already recced) that.
Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 01:40 pm (UTC)Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 01:43 pm (UTC)Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 01:45 pm (UTC)Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 01:51 pm (UTC)Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 04:46 pm (UTC)Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 04:46 pm (UTC)Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 04:48 pm (UTC)Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 04:49 pm (UTC)Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 06:42 pm (UTC)It was a very moving speech. I am a happy Wendy today.
Re: comment part deux
Date: 2009-01-20 10:12 pm (UTC)My husband admires the man's diction.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 01:21 pm (UTC)I was about to reread "Flea Market Economy," as I too think it's the best gender swap story in the world, and I am not too proud to have read the rest. (There's a kind of interesting thing by Joann Humby.) I was going to check whether it would pass W's noromo standard; I'm sure it would. But I mainly just wanted to, you know, reread it.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 01:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 01:45 pm (UTC)It is totally the best. I can't even remember why I first decided to read it, way back when (because I was convinced genderswap just couldn't be done in a way I'd ever want to read), and then of course I was sucked in and enjoying the hell out of myself. Awesome.
Absolutely Hilarious
Date: 2009-12-04 06:37 pm (UTC)Re: Absolutely Hilarious
Date: 2009-12-04 10:16 pm (UTC)