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xf_book_clubYou are correct. This is a re-post of "Theory and Practice." I was so disappointed that no one commented on this story that I deleted the May 7 entry. I have to try to do a better job of selling this story to you all (clearly, I did a crappy job the first time around) because this story deserves to be read and discussed.
I am also posting to let you know that this community is most likely going on hiatus until the middle of June. I am leaving for New York in a little over a week and am considering going cold turkey on internet access. No, seriously.
Okay, back to our fanfic rerun.
Set between Demons and Gethsemane at the height of the cancer arc, it is as much about the emotional impact that Scully's illness is having on their relationship, as it is about the case file itself. Nascent's theory about that impact is unique, but it seems far more consistent with the canon characterizations than many of the stories set during the time frame. While it is not a romance in any conventional sense of the word, let me reassure you, this is a love story.
"Theory and Practice" could have been filmed as written, except for the sex scenes, of course. If it had been, it would have been a damn memorable episode. The dialogue is snappy: Mulder sounds like Mulder, Scully sounds like Scully, the original characters sound like real people. Their discussions of the case sound like they could have been lifted from the show. The x-file is truly creepy, and the relationship stuff is interwoven into the plot very deftly. This fic is not as long as you think, which I discovered when I printed it out to read. There is another story, also very good, that is attached to the file. It is called "Insider Trading." You should read it, too. Krycek plays a major role in that one, and so does Skinner.
What follows is an section from the first chapter, which I am hoping it will suck you all in, since the beginning of the fic didn't do it for you.
He was acutely aware that something much more imposing than two cheaply paneled hotel room doors separated them. The awareness left him feeling oddly unconnected, as if his inner ear were mounted on a wobbly platform suspended from some unseen hook high above him. Perhaps perversely, he resented her for it.
He perused a few pages of background notes but the lines blurred before him, and after realizing he'd read the same paragraph four times and still could not understand it, he resolved to right this thing between them, right it now and ground himself again.
So he found himself at her door, expectant and disconcertingly nervous. Tapping softly.
Her shoes were off but she was still fully dressed. She did not invite him inside but he pushed past her, pretending not to notice. He took a seat on her bed; she leaned against the opposite wall, arms folded across her chest.
They appraised each other across an invisible but tangible line of challenge.
She crossed it first. "I was expecting you."
He thrust. "I wanted to know what the doctors said."
Parry. "I know."
He waited, feigning injury. The bluff paid off; she continued at last. "The results won't be back for at least a week, probably more."
They regarded each other silently across the seemingly infinite gap, though the swords of their spirits were tangled in an-almost stalemate, each one pushing with every ounce of strength, willing the other to yield first.
Finally, Mulder conceded, adopted a defensive pose. "I just want to know how you're doing."
Her answering blow struck him hard. "I'm fine, Mulder."
He acknowledged the strike with a lowering of his head. He hated when she lied to him.
Perhaps his next move was somewhat unfair, but the rules of this game are unclear and often broken. He attacked before she was ready. "Well, when you stop being 'fine,' Scully, I hope you'll admit it to yourself if not to me, rather than endangering us both by pretending everything's still normal. I don't appreciate games of 'let's pretend,' and you of all people should know that imagining something won't make it true."
Her response was quick and cold. "I don't think I'm the one with the poor sense of reality here. I'm dying, Mulder, and I do not deny it. Neither should you."
He gritted his teeth; she had cut deep with that blow.
"But 'endangering us both,' Mulder?" She crossed the room to tower over him, fierce and taut. "Do you not trust me to know my own limits? Do you not trust me to have our best interests in mind? Do you not trust me to watch your back?"
She had beaten him to the ground, and he couldn't meet her eyes. "No, Scully," he mumbled. "Of course I trust you. Of course I do. I'm just...I wish you could trust me with what's happening to you."
It was a feeble blow, and not quite a truthful one, yet it seemed to have struck a sensitive spot, for her face crinkled and her eyes softened.
But before Mulder could sigh with relief, her next move crippled him.
She sank onto the bed beside him and reached for his hand where it rested on his knee. Instead of clasping it, though, she patted it awkwardly, rubbed her thumb over his wrist, never meeting his eyes. "It's not that I don't trust you," she whispered--he could barely hear her. "It's that I don't trust myself. Not yet." It was the first honest thing she'd said to him that night.
He looked down at their hands helplessly, feeling his lip begin to tremble and halfheartedly hating her for it. He turned to search her eyes--which still would not meet his--for the malice or deception he suspected might be there. Though she didn't look at him, her blue gaze was more sad than malicious, more resigned than afraid.
He squeezed her fingers roughly, conceding her victory. There was nothing else he could say, but the only other options were to leave or sit in silence, and both seemed equally unappealing.
So he compromised, raising her fingers briefly and somewhat helplessly to his lips, just for a second, then stood and began the journey to the door. He thought he might be limping--he certainly felt like he should be.
He had always been his own man, his emotions never subjugated to the whims of another, at least, not another who could be seen and heard and felt. He resented that Scully now wielded this power over him, and even as he granted her that power he begrudged her it.
Why couldn't she see that he needed to know the weight of her burden, support the half that was rightfully his?
Perhaps it is too bad he could not see the woman he'd just left on the other side of that cheaply paneled hotel door. She had fallen backwards onto the bed, forearm across her eyes, which were tightly closed and holding back tears. For she thought that he had won that battle, and in her grief and fear she resented him for holding that same power over her.
Why couldn't he see that she needed this facade--not to maintain an illusion but to maintain her own strength?
Mulder and Scully had discovered that it is a frightening and wonderful thing to be at the mercy of one whom you love. Even the purest and deepest of friendships can begin to make you feel like a hostage.
But perhaps this is all love is: mutual terrorism of the heart.
Theory and Practice
Nascent and Flywoman's Fanfiction (via the Wayback machine)
Though the author left the fandom long ago, I would like to know what you think of the story, whether it be good, bad or indifferent. Suggestions for next time can be made here.
I am also posting to let you know that this community is most likely going on hiatus until the middle of June. I am leaving for New York in a little over a week and am considering going cold turkey on internet access. No, seriously.
Okay, back to our fanfic rerun.
Set between Demons and Gethsemane at the height of the cancer arc, it is as much about the emotional impact that Scully's illness is having on their relationship, as it is about the case file itself. Nascent's theory about that impact is unique, but it seems far more consistent with the canon characterizations than many of the stories set during the time frame. While it is not a romance in any conventional sense of the word, let me reassure you, this is a love story.
"Theory and Practice" could have been filmed as written, except for the sex scenes, of course. If it had been, it would have been a damn memorable episode. The dialogue is snappy: Mulder sounds like Mulder, Scully sounds like Scully, the original characters sound like real people. Their discussions of the case sound like they could have been lifted from the show. The x-file is truly creepy, and the relationship stuff is interwoven into the plot very deftly. This fic is not as long as you think, which I discovered when I printed it out to read. There is another story, also very good, that is attached to the file. It is called "Insider Trading." You should read it, too. Krycek plays a major role in that one, and so does Skinner.
What follows is an section from the first chapter, which I am hoping it will suck you all in, since the beginning of the fic didn't do it for you.
He was acutely aware that something much more imposing than two cheaply paneled hotel room doors separated them. The awareness left him feeling oddly unconnected, as if his inner ear were mounted on a wobbly platform suspended from some unseen hook high above him. Perhaps perversely, he resented her for it.
He perused a few pages of background notes but the lines blurred before him, and after realizing he'd read the same paragraph four times and still could not understand it, he resolved to right this thing between them, right it now and ground himself again.
So he found himself at her door, expectant and disconcertingly nervous. Tapping softly.
Her shoes were off but she was still fully dressed. She did not invite him inside but he pushed past her, pretending not to notice. He took a seat on her bed; she leaned against the opposite wall, arms folded across her chest.
They appraised each other across an invisible but tangible line of challenge.
She crossed it first. "I was expecting you."
He thrust. "I wanted to know what the doctors said."
Parry. "I know."
He waited, feigning injury. The bluff paid off; she continued at last. "The results won't be back for at least a week, probably more."
They regarded each other silently across the seemingly infinite gap, though the swords of their spirits were tangled in an-almost stalemate, each one pushing with every ounce of strength, willing the other to yield first.
Finally, Mulder conceded, adopted a defensive pose. "I just want to know how you're doing."
Her answering blow struck him hard. "I'm fine, Mulder."
He acknowledged the strike with a lowering of his head. He hated when she lied to him.
Perhaps his next move was somewhat unfair, but the rules of this game are unclear and often broken. He attacked before she was ready. "Well, when you stop being 'fine,' Scully, I hope you'll admit it to yourself if not to me, rather than endangering us both by pretending everything's still normal. I don't appreciate games of 'let's pretend,' and you of all people should know that imagining something won't make it true."
Her response was quick and cold. "I don't think I'm the one with the poor sense of reality here. I'm dying, Mulder, and I do not deny it. Neither should you."
He gritted his teeth; she had cut deep with that blow.
"But 'endangering us both,' Mulder?" She crossed the room to tower over him, fierce and taut. "Do you not trust me to know my own limits? Do you not trust me to have our best interests in mind? Do you not trust me to watch your back?"
She had beaten him to the ground, and he couldn't meet her eyes. "No, Scully," he mumbled. "Of course I trust you. Of course I do. I'm just...I wish you could trust me with what's happening to you."
It was a feeble blow, and not quite a truthful one, yet it seemed to have struck a sensitive spot, for her face crinkled and her eyes softened.
But before Mulder could sigh with relief, her next move crippled him.
She sank onto the bed beside him and reached for his hand where it rested on his knee. Instead of clasping it, though, she patted it awkwardly, rubbed her thumb over his wrist, never meeting his eyes. "It's not that I don't trust you," she whispered--he could barely hear her. "It's that I don't trust myself. Not yet." It was the first honest thing she'd said to him that night.
He looked down at their hands helplessly, feeling his lip begin to tremble and halfheartedly hating her for it. He turned to search her eyes--which still would not meet his--for the malice or deception he suspected might be there. Though she didn't look at him, her blue gaze was more sad than malicious, more resigned than afraid.
He squeezed her fingers roughly, conceding her victory. There was nothing else he could say, but the only other options were to leave or sit in silence, and both seemed equally unappealing.
So he compromised, raising her fingers briefly and somewhat helplessly to his lips, just for a second, then stood and began the journey to the door. He thought he might be limping--he certainly felt like he should be.
He had always been his own man, his emotions never subjugated to the whims of another, at least, not another who could be seen and heard and felt. He resented that Scully now wielded this power over him, and even as he granted her that power he begrudged her it.
Why couldn't she see that he needed to know the weight of her burden, support the half that was rightfully his?
Perhaps it is too bad he could not see the woman he'd just left on the other side of that cheaply paneled hotel door. She had fallen backwards onto the bed, forearm across her eyes, which were tightly closed and holding back tears. For she thought that he had won that battle, and in her grief and fear she resented him for holding that same power over her.
Why couldn't he see that she needed this facade--not to maintain an illusion but to maintain her own strength?
Mulder and Scully had discovered that it is a frightening and wonderful thing to be at the mercy of one whom you love. Even the purest and deepest of friendships can begin to make you feel like a hostage.
But perhaps this is all love is: mutual terrorism of the heart.
Theory and Practice
Nascent and Flywoman's Fanfiction (via the Wayback machine)
Though the author left the fandom long ago, I would like to know what you think of the story, whether it be good, bad or indifferent. Suggestions for next time can be made here.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 05:59 am (UTC)I'll miss you if you go on hiatus. :( Hope you have a safe trip though.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 06:13 am (UTC)This has a very hopeful, touching final scene between Mulder and Scully, if that helps you make it to the end.
I feel about William fic the way you feel about cancer fic. (Noooooo! I'm going to run awaaaaaay!)
no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 06:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 06:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 08:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 06:42 pm (UTC)You have no idea how excited I am by this. I now know two (!!) people who have read and loved this story. Because Nascent let her site go down so long ago, and had never archived anything at Gossamer, this story and many of her others are not getting the attention they deserve. Her version of the Mulder/Scully relationship is so much like the series' that it just thrills me to pieces. Finding her fic was like discovering filmed new episodes that had never been broadcast.
Yes. I know exactly what you mean about the way they want to talk without talking. And, yes, the casefile is a real x-file, one whose solution isn't immediately obvious, either. I think it is way better than the average MOTW, in terms of dramatic structure and dialogue and the Mulder/Scully characterization is dead-on. The science even sounded plausible (although Nascent acknowledges in her author's notes where it is and where it--isn't) which means she went to extra trouble to make it sound that way. The themes tie together, too: Scully's cancer as a result of what happened to her at the hands of the Shadow government dovetailing with the tragedy of what happened to the scientist's family. All of the stuff about hostage negotiation throughout the story tying in with the story's climax. My brain is doing a happy dance about the scene between Mulder and Scully at the end, and how it ties in with Gethsemane.
Since you love the story, I would save it to your hard drive. Wayback links often go wonky.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 11:42 pm (UTC)I'm a pharmacy student, so you can't imagine how much I enjoyed seeing someone with such a grasp on science too (even the whole sonicator thing seemed plausible! Goes to show how much research Nascent made for the story). All those notes at the end were very interesting too.
Scully's cancer as a result of what happened to her at the hands of the Shadow government dovetailing with the tragedy of what happened to the scientist's family
Oh, the angst of it all! Delicious! This scene with Gegenmir & Mulder hit me:
And the last scene with M&S! I love how Mulder didn't let her say what she was going to say (even if my little shipper heart suffered a bit for it, lol). It makes the whole story work so perfectly within canon! Gosh, how I wish this could have been made into an episode :3
Thanks! I've been saving a lot of my favorite fics lately, since the problems with Geocities and everything. You never really know when the links are going to go all wonky on you.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 12:58 am (UTC)If you unearth something you love, make sure you suggest it at the nomination post. (:
no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 08:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-19 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 12:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 09:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 05:59 pm (UTC)Looking forward to it.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 02:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-17 05:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 01:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 07:30 pm (UTC)The biology student in me loved the science to pieces, and I don't know why since obviously it was all invented. Well, I do know why, it was because I could tell that the people inventing them knew what they were doing. :D
I loved the secondary characters, though the sex felt a little tacked on. I mean, both in the same night? But in general, I felt all the charatcters in the background were very well done.
It's impressive that it feels like an episode; more than that, it would've made a good episode. Particularly the beginning with the music and the attack, it really has the X-Files feel, you know? It also made me giggle a little.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 08:10 pm (UTC)The science geek in me loved the science parts, too, for exactly the same reasons. I also thought it was neat that this seemed like an episode, even to the point of having a music sound track and the teaser.
Re: the sex scenes. I didn't think they were tacked on. Instead, I thought they were a necessary and logical progression of obvious emotional distress that Mulder and Scully were both in over her recent biopsy. I also thought they showed the reader how in synch they were, too, in that they were both trying to defuse at the same time and in the exact same way. It also forces them to begin to deal with their feelings for each other, leading to the scene on the cliff. Without that catalyst, their relationship talk never would have happened, that's how I see it, anyway. The after-sex talking scene with Mulder and Anna let us get into Mulder's head to see how he is dealing (badly!) with his emotions about Scully's cancer, much in the same way that the scene with the social worker in Elegy allows us to see how Scully is doing. This is not something that would necessarily work for me in any other fic or in any other time during the series. That window of time between Demons and Gethsemane is just crying out for something like this, and I think Nascent pulled it off very well.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-18 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 08:44 am (UTC)This absolutely could have been an episode- the case was genuinely intriguing, dissolving people felt completely in line with the canonical creepiness of Them, the science had me convinced (but since I haven't studied any apart from Maths since I was sixteen that doesn't take much), and the Mulder-Scully interaction was spot on. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the sex- I can definitely see how it works for the plot, and the scene with Mulder and Anna afterwards is really great, but it still didn't sit entirely right with me. Maybe I am just in a heightened state of shippyness at the moment; I could go and watch Never Again to see if I like it a bit less or something...
That said, part of me really loves that this is an NC-17 MSR story where there is no actual sex between Mulder and Scully. That should win some points somewhere.
Anyway, I'll definitely be going back and reading some more of her stuff once I have the time (and saving some of it; I really need to get into that habit).
no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 02:12 pm (UTC)Dark Nascent's Barnyard series. Yes. They are hilarious and original but you really have to be in the mood for them.
You could certainly tell she had done the research/had some science background as the story was full of nice detail, plus all of the scientists and lab settings seemed right. Berkeley seemed right.
I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the sex- I can definitely see how it works for the plot, and the scene with Mulder and Anna afterwards is really great, but it still didn't sit entirely right with me. Maybe I am just in a heightened state of shippyness at the moment; I could go and watch Never Again to see if I like it a bit less or something...
Ooh! Another person who likes "Never Again"! I'm not a M/S shipper so the sex scenes just seemed like--sex scenes to me. I have always felt that it was a tad unrealistic to think two attractive people in their thirties who had clearly decided that their best friend/partner was off-limits would be celibate by choice. My husband has always felt that Mulder was married to his work and that Scully just got caught up in that lifestyle.
Scully having sex with the guy she was in love with at eighteen certainly seemed plausible, especially given how vulnerable she was feeling and how impossible it felt for her to be with Mulder. Mulder being with Anna was clearly the act of real desperation. He was using her to escape from his complicated feelings about Scully's illness and, of course, his desire to be with her. Compared to having a hole drilled in his head, which is what he did last week, this seemed pretty rational. Anna was using him for sex. People do this all of the time, right? They used to anyway; I have been out of the dating scene for a good many years. I don't think Anna would have done it though if she had known what was going on with Mulder and Scully, and I think that shows up in her post-coital discussion with Mulder. (This is why it's a good idea to get to know your potential sex partners a little better ahead of time, IMHO.)
That said, part of me really loves that this is an NC-17 MSR story where there is no actual sex between Mulder and Scully. That should win some points somewhere.
It certainly won points with me. (;
no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 02:25 pm (UTC)This is why it's a good idea to get to know your potential sex partners a little better ahead of time, IMHO.
Everything I know about life, I learned from fanfic... *g*
no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 06:18 pm (UTC)I didn't much like the style of writing, though it wasn't generally *bad* per se, particularly for such an ambitious and process-filled piece. But the writer's desire to contrast Mulder and Scully's stoic refusal to communicate with their *intense* inner torments led to some pretty overdramatic description. I mean, "...as if his inner ear were mounted on a wobbly platform suspended from some unseen hook high above him." C'mon. Or "Mulder considered how his creativity had lately improved to provide him with more excuses (which she surely saw through) to be near her. How strained once-easy dialogues had become, and how simply once-guarded topics could be broached.... So much easier to say he wanted her to share her pain than attempt to coalesce his myriad irrational emotions into rational communication." What? Then, the sex: "The narrow furrows of flesh with graced the landscape of an inner thigh invited his tiny nipping kisses like fertile soil begs the farmer for seed," etc. I don't begrudge Mulder his tension-release, but don't like the lurid.
I'm not trying to be mean, but to object to something without illustrating is meaningless. I'm a fan of show-don't-tell, also less-is-more. Explaining angst gracefully is really hard to do, which is probably why I prefer dry wit. But I realize that those who like this stuff really like it, so claim prejudice and ignore me.
It was neat when Mulder explained why the PM had to hang up on the queen. There should have been more of that.
no subject
no subject
Date: 2009-05-20 07:12 pm (UTC)Thanks for being sweet. I got a variegated six-pack today of local brews. Just in case a beer-drinker drops in. :)
no subject
Date: 2016-05-28 05:15 am (UTC)http://web.archive.org/web/20030411013855/http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Atlantis/6277/
one of my favorites...
Date: 2016-05-31 03:17 pm (UTC)Re: one of my favorites...
Date: 2016-05-31 04:08 pm (UTC)We read "Pillars of Salt" in both its updated and original versions back in November. The discussion master list needs updating, I guess. It's a great fic.
I've been obsessed with Nascent's fanfic since I joined the fandom, back in 2005(or 2006? I get confused...). She's one of my favorites. Not many writers have come up with excellent case files that are also original, creepy X-Files.
Re: one of my favorites...
Date: 2016-05-31 05:43 pm (UTC)I couldn't really call myself a noromo, but I guess I'm a sucker for UST over RST and/or relationship fluff, and Nascent did/does that SO WELL. Oh, unless the RST is twisty and vicious like Iolokus ;)
no subject
Date: 2016-10-10 02:16 pm (UTC)I think I've read T&P at least 4-5 times and I enjoy it just as much each time. Come read and comment!!