Story 116: "Ceremony" by Darwin

[wendelah1]

There is still plenty of time to read and comment on the "In Dreams" trilogy.

I first heard of "Ceremony" at the late lamented fictalk, where it was posted for discussion as a one-hit wonder, which it isn't really, since the writer wrote two other fine stories. You can find them at her author's page at Gossamer. As a post-ep for Orison, this story deals with its emotional fall-out in a realistic and moving way. However, what is most memorable to me about "Ceremony" is its depiction of adult sexuality as both carnal and transcendent.

As always, please send feedback to the writer, then let us know what you think. Suggestions for next time can be left at the nomination post.

"Ceremony"

Comments

[snoopdawg.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this fic, and tried to send a feedback email to the author, but the email was returned to me. :(

However, what is most memorable to me about "Ceremony" is its depiction of adult sexuality as both carnal and transcendent.
This is EXACTLY it. The sexy parts were both primal and loving, and I found it touching in a way I can't quite describe.

[wendelah1]

The sexy parts were both primal and loving, and I found it touching in a way I can't quite describe.

Yes. This story is even better than I remembered it being. It goes deep, and Darwin's exploration of what trust creates in a relationship seems both more in character and more erotic than any story I've read in this fandom.

I tried to send feedback, too, and both attempts failed. Maybe someone who knows her and is still in fandom will clue her in. It could happen.

all is pure with a bright sense of relief / i can trust you love, if you can trust me

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

A relevant bit of personal exposition: I'm an extremely compartmentalized person. For me, lust and love just...don't mix. They are kept in different spheres of my brain, and overlap very little, if at all. They discourage each other - oil and water. Or, more accurately, fire and and an air-tight encasement.

Which is why, for me, Ceremony is not only beautifully written in an objective sense, but also a favorite fic of mine on a very personal level. Because I can honestly say this is the only fic -- out of almost a thousand -- in which love and lust are unified, and one does not prevent the other from seeming genuine, or detract from the full effect. In this fic, love and lust are unified. They encompass each other, and they actually serve to stabilize each other.

Even in fics like (let's be gratuitous here) Parabiosis (which I literally could not love more), I wind up feeling the lust shift, either becoming or making way for Love - a kind of intimacy so elemental that things like prurience or even the separateness of two identities becomes a valid but often extraneous factor. Or in something like Iolokus (more gratuitous fic referencing), where the level of lust is very high, I feel that the love the characters have for each other (if they do indeed love each other, which is entirely debatable in a fic like Iolokus) is supplanted, converted, prevented. The instability of the characters feeds their lust, and their lust perpetuates their instability - preventing them from being able to truly love each other.

Whether this either/or dilemma -- either lust or love -- is a personal dilemma, or one shared by many other readers, the fact remains that somehow, Ceremony gets around it. As wendelah1 says in her description of the fic: Ceremony depicts sexuality as both carnal and transcendent. In and of itself, the sexuality is depicted as no less volatile and consuming than it has ever been; yet it is not detrimental to the intimacy between the characters.

I think much of what this unique dynamic comes down to is that sex, like many other things, is a kind of conflict. Eighth-grade English teaches us that there are several different sorts of conflict. The most basic types being man vs. man, man vs. nature, man vs. society, and man.vs himself. Typically, sex as it is written, contains elements of all these forms of conflict. But in the case of Ceremony, the "man vs. man" conflict is distinctly absent. Mulder and Scully are unified by their sexual desire for each other, and by the way they relate sexually to each other. Where fictional sex typically relies on the uncertainty and vulnerability of the characters towards each other in order to stoke the fires of passion, Ceremony does not. Yet neither does Ceremony act as if the resolution of that man vs. man conflict was the single crowning victory on the road to the characters' resolution of themselves. All of the other forms of conflict are still strongly present - focal, even. Darwin actually uses Mulder and Scully's lack of conflict with each other to emphasize the inherent conflict between them and...pretty much everything else in their world. Therefore, "the fires of passion" are not abated by Mulder and Scully's intimacy, but rather stoked - simply in a much more natural, intimate, and much less melodramatic way than one is accustomed to if one is accustomed to smut stories.

Re: all is pure with a bright sense of relief / i can trust you love, if you can trust me

[wendelah1]

Even in fics like (let's be gratuitous here) Parabiosis (which I literally could not love more), I wind up feeling the lust shift, either becoming or making way for Love - a kind of intimacy so elemental that things like prurience or even the separateness of two identities becomes a valid but often extraneous factor. Or in something like Iolokus (more gratuitous fic referencing)

There can never be too much "gratuitous fic referencing." Reference away!

For me, I guess love and lust don't necessarily have to mix, not every time, but, it's very special when it does. I do not experience sex as a conflict. I'm not even sure what you mean by that, but maybe that's why I dislike so many written sex scenes, because they feel so dissonant, when they aren't boring me to tears, of course.

As Estella_C mentions below, Ceremony "deals touchingly and truthfully with a subject that, in an era of bdsm and three-ways, is one of the last unmentionables." Not that this is always or even often necessary for me to appreciate a story, but it's something I can personally identify with, whereas hardcore BSDM and threesomes, not so much. Okay, not at all. This story is about trust on a very basic level, one that doesn't require special equipment or safewords.

Re: all is pure with a bright sense of relief / i can trust you love, if you can trust me

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

For me, I guess love and lust don't necessarily have to mix, not every time

for me they don't have to mix if i'm only looking to be stimulated in some way. i don't need to believe in the author's definition of 'love', in order to enjoy her depiction of 'sexy tiems'. but if i want to believe the story when it tells me "this is love", then there has to be some kind of cohesion reached, between love and lust.

this quote (Goenka) illustrates what i mean about lust being in conflict with love fairly well: "Grasping at things can only yield one of two results: Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear. It is only a matter of which occurs first." most stories that contain graphic sex rely on that hunger that has the characters grasping, grasping, grasping. it's hot (oy!) but for me it preempts, or at the very least limits my ability to believe that the characters love each other. there are various exceptions to this, and variants on it. Ceremony is, in some manner, the greatest exception, in that the characters are still hungry (that office scene is downright ravenous) and yet they are trusting enough not to be "grasping" at each other in a way that prevents them from actually "holding" each other. like you said: "it's a story about trust on a very basic level."

[sangria-lila.livejournal.com]

I love Ceremony for all the reasons mentioned. Aside from the writing being loose in some places, it's possibly my favorite smut piece of all time.

[wendelah1]

Aside from the writing being loose in some places

For discussion, I'd love it if you'd give a specific example of what the term "loose" means to you, applied to this story in particular.

I think I know what you mean by "smut piece." Rated NC-17? It's just hard for me to equate the sex scenes in "Ceremony" with smut, although the author tries to denigrate the work in her end notes. I dislike when writers do that. "Let the reader decide," I want to say to Darwin. Or maybe just "shut up." Perhaps "smut" has more negative connotations in American English?

It's a wonderful story, even better than I remembered. I was especially moved this time by her description of what it would be like for Mulder if Scully had been murdered by Pfaster. Chilling.

[sangria-lila.livejournal.com]

Loose writing being sentences that were flowery. Darwin is very good with her imagery, but goes overboard now and then, like here:

What would she say that wouldn’t sound hackneyed and adolescent, trite or rehearsed? All the words in the register of love have been used up by bad movies and sitcoms, stripped of their power. There is nothing left to say.

Hackneyed and trite mean the same thing. In fact, I don't think she needs either word there, adolescent or rehearsed works just as well for me. Darwin also don't need the phrase 'stripped of their power' for the reader to understand her point. 'All the words in the register of love have been used up by bad movies and sitcoms. There is nothing left to say,' will get the point across, and better as well.

Here's another bit:

More importantly, he has a way of stripping
her of her inhibitions, of disarming her with humor and somehow at the same time referencing their complete trust in one another with just a glance or a few words.

I don't think we need to have Mulder stripping Scully of her inhibitions and disarming her to get Darwin's point. This sentence becomes too long and you lose the meaning towards the end. And there are other little places throughout the story that I would tighten. These are only minor things though, what sticks in my mind about this story are the images, like how Scully thinks about the soldiers thinking about their mothers, the description of Scully seducing Mulder in the beginning, the part about Pfaster.

And yeah, smut is anything rated NC-17 to me, and technically, Ceremony is smut because of that, but I don't think it's a bad thing. I mean, if Darwin went and called her piece porn I wouldn't have minded too much either.

[wendelah1]

Um, yeah. If I was her beta, it's possible that I'd have told her to lose the whole sentence. I guess she never re-posted a beta-read version of this, which is a shame in a way. But then there'd be people complaining that they loved the original, it was way better and why did you change it omigod.

Maybe this is just me showing my advanced age. I guess I can't help but see the words smut and porn as derogatory, as a way of making the story less than what it is. My issue. Estella_C calls it "erotica" which is probably just a fancy way of saying porn but it makes me feel better. *g*

[enj412.livejournal.com]

I agree with the majority of comments so far. "Ceremony" is an intense, yet very enjoyable read. I think the best part of it for me is how it depicts the realness (is that a word?) of the MSR. These are complicated people that fell in love despite themselves and, in doing so, have found their equal and "soul mate." The sex between them is raw and true to life. These are two individuals that trust each other implicitly, so that certainly translates to their sex life. "Ceremony" does a great job of exploring these issues and showcasing the beauty that is their relationship. I definitely recommend it.

[wendelah1]

I'm glad to hear you liked it. I'm not much of a believer in the idea of a soul mate, although it is a concept the show dealt with to a limited extent in "The Field Where I Died." I'm not even sure "falling in love" is how I see the Mulder/Scully dynamic. But then what would you expect from an unrepentant noromo!

[estella-c.livejournal.com]

I've always thought that "Ceremony" is one of the great pieces of raw erotica in our ficdom. And it deals touchingly and truthfully with a subject that, in an era of bdsm and three-ways, is one of the last unmentionables.

I do think, after the reread, that it's overwritten in places and could maybe have used a slow, cool beta. Call me petty, but a line like "the crisp, dry wine, the tang of garlic" signals the kind of easy romantic hustle that I personally dislike.

But the good *far* outweighs the second-rate. And there's so much to enjoy that it may be a mistake even to try to read critically. Sort of like doing a commentary on the sex act itself.

Erotica! Eureka!

[wendelah1]

I've always thought that "Ceremony" is one of the great pieces of raw erotica in our ficdom. And it deals touchingly and truthfully with a subject that, in an era of bdsm and three-ways, is one of the last unmentionables.

Thank you. Yes, quite unmentionable. As I said up thread, this is a kind of trust exchange I can relate to, as opposed to the more commonplace fic clichés like threesomes, whips, and chains.

And there's so much to enjoy that it may be a mistake even to try to read critically. Sort of like doing a commentary on the sex act itself.

For better or worse, reading critically is what I do automatically now, but I still managed to love this story unreservedly.

[bachlava.livejournal.com]

In general I quite like "Ceremony," despite some of the problems noted above (i.e., some points are a bit flowery or overly romantic). For me, these are relatively small issues in a terrific fic. It really rings true to me that Scully would have to find new ways to be comfortable in her own skin, as it were, after the cancer and barrenness and virus exposure. Darwin, I think, does a fairly skillful job of building this up subtly and avoiding making Scully seem like she's having a second adolescence. I also give her credit for having Scully wish in an almost abstract way that she and Mulder had gotten together earlier while realizing that there were good reasons that the reality was different. It may just be that angsting over lost time/"Oh, what fools we've been" tends to annoy me, but I like this method handling the issue.

There are lots of little high points that also work well for me. Mulder being a bit of an exhibitionist? 100%. His way of coaxing Scully around to his point of view? 100%. Scully's use of "pocket shape-shifter"? Best slang term ever. And, of course, Mulder would try to pretend he has plenty of sheets.

One thing does nag at me, though: am I reading wrong, or do they drive all the way into Amish country and then back to Mulder's apartment? That seems time-consuming and unnecessary, especially given how much time those two spend in the car anyway. Okay, another thing nags at me: in the sex-bent-over-the-desk reminiscence, Mulder has his hands on Scully's shoulders. Given their absolute and relative heights and the height of the desk (why yes, I have spent too much time watching this show)... it's anatomically possible, yes, but the mental image I'm getting is of an awkward and rather uncomfortable position. Or maybe I'm just nitpicking...


Edited because clarity is our friend.

Nit-picking: it's a way of life

[wendelah1]

One thing does nag at me, though: am I reading wrong, or do they drive all the way into Amish country and then back to Mulder's apartment? That seems time-consuming and unnecessary, especially given how much time those two spend in the car anyway.

Unnecessary in what sense? Yes, they could have spent the whole day in bed again, but they're in that stage where just being in close proximity to one's love object is enough. What one is doing is irrelevant. Um, I google-mapped this as well as I possibly could given that I didn't have a destination, and it's not quite two hours to Gettysburg. Of course, they drove until dusk. Well. Maybe this is an impulsive drive to get away from everything that reminds them of their everyday lives?

Okay, another thing nags at me: in the sex-bent-over-the-desk reminiscence, Mulder has his hands on Scully's shoulders. Given their absolute and relative heights and the height of the desk (why yes, I have spent too much time watching this show)... it's anatomically possible, yes, but the mental image I'm getting is of an awkward and rather uncomfortable position. Or maybe I'm just nitpicking...

Ha ha! I love this. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who tries to figure out if the sex in the sex scenes actually works. My husband and I are very close in height so I regret to say my research must remain strictly theoretical. *g* Now, how high is that desk again?

Re: Nit-picking: it's a way of life

[estella-c.livejournal.com]

This is all amusing; fans seem to return, over and over, to the problems the height difference create during coitus. I am always quite unsatisfied when they do it against a wall. Even shower sex seems a little unnecessarily complicated. What's wrong with a nice bed with clean sheets?

Yet I have grown to hate the "one bed" scenario with all it's passive lusting. God, there's no pleasing me!

Scully did mention that a woman-on-top position with Mulder leaning on the headboard worked well with the eye contact and everything. So obviously the author has given coitus requisite thought. Haven't we all.

[maybe-amanda.livejournal.com]

I don't have a lot to add. I like this story. I like what the author is trying to do with it. I like the way Mulder and Scully both seem like actual real adults actually really in love.

[bmerb.livejournal.com]

All the lovely things about trust and sex and love and lust encompassed in this fic have already been mentioned. I love the title, the concept of sexuality and intimacy as ceremony/sacred.

Another thing I really loved in this fic was Scully reflecting on getting her period, and experiencing the sadness of loss despite knowing she is barren. That longing and hope and feeling of ripe possibility (and of course the explicitly mentioned semen deposited on her cervix so many times in her last cycle) are so real and make so much sense. The realization that this would be the worst time to conceive children, on the eve of an apocalypse, coupled with her intense longing despite her rational thought on the subject (and the readers knowledge that canon does indeed have her become miraculously pregnant)... Gah, it just gets me. Or maybe I just get it?

Great fic!