Story 185: "Through the Fire" by Jordan

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

Our second Halloween fic this year is "Through the Fire," a very distinctive AU that basically incorporates a little bit of everything into the mix.

In this universe Mulder has been imprisoned for several years on false charges, and Scully has continued their work in his absence. Now she must cope with a dangerous case - an MoTW with its roots at the heart of the mytharc - while also coping with a sudden change in Mulder's circumstances. It's a tense, unusual, and downright creepy fic with an M/S dynamic that's intense and quite lovely. Diana, Jeffrey Spender, and Skinner also have parts to play.

Through the Fire

Oh my god, you guys, I'm SO SORRY! Anyone who downloaded the text file of the fic missed chapter 6! My face is literally in my palms. I read the whole fic and didn't even realize I'd missed an entire chapter, and from the looks of things an important one. I only just realized it now.

That is, from what I can tell, the only place the fic is posted. If the format (which is seasonally cute, but also rather visually loud) bothers you, I've uploaded the fic as one complete Word file, which you can download here.

Happy Halloween, everyone! And season's greetings to anyone who doesn't celebrate.

Comments

Re: 2/3

[wendelah1]

What about the sex scene bothers you so much (besides the cucumber, which I have already agreed was not the best choice of similes)? Quotes of parts you find particularly bad would help me to understand why this sex scene, which to me is vivid and pretty, though somewhat OTT, strikes you as so very unsatisfactory.

Okay, here are a few examples of things that made me roll my eyes. It's too long. It's too detailed. The details are icky (to me) rather than sexy. The metaphors don't work for me. Specific examples? Sexuality is so individual, and people's responses to erotica so unpredictable, I'm not sure how this helps but okay.

There are forces that can't be stopped, huge shifts of paradigms moving as slowly and inexorably as the drift of continents, that have placed them here at this moment, walking up the steps to Mulder's mother's house with their hands clenched together in a white knuckled grip.

This sentence seems more appropriate for describing the beginning of WW3 than a sex scene. "Huge shifts of paradigms"? Continental drift? That doesn't sound like a parody of MSR to you?

The brakes are on, but the car is skidding down the side of a cliff.

This doesn't sound like something Scully would think unless she were actually in the car that's falling off the cliff. I have a hard time believing this is something anyone would be thinking as they are heading to bed for the first time with someone they're in love with and have wanted for so long. To me, this sentence detracts rather than enhances the mood she trying to capture.

I like descriptions of kissing but this one is just icky to me. The wording seems awkward, too.

Mulder's tongue explores the mystery of her mouth, sweeps over her teeth, thrusts in and slides out in a way that makes her go rigid and relax, rigid and relax.

This isn't sexy to me. The sentence needs an edit, for one thing.

He has both hands fumbling at her blouse and she feels his knuckles on her breasts, brushing them with an accidental touch that is somehow more electric than when he had been deliberately groping her.

Plus, groping is not a sexy word. Not to me, at least. The connotation for me is teenagers in the back of a car.

You see how it is. For every phrase that works, there is one that doesn't. I'm sure if she'd had more time, she'd have smoothed this out, but I can only judge what's on the page.

Something doesn't have to squick a person out in order to be a poor choice of words. Obviously the point was that resisting the bond they felt for each other was futile. But there are things you just don't say during or about a sex scene, and "resistance is futile," is one of them. IMO it's not funny, it's not clever, it just strikes a really off note.

I have no idea when this was originally posted, but I'm assuming in the nineties? I think you have to consider the context. But maybe by today's standards, it's not funny, it's just in bad taste. I believe you.

It still made me laugh. I'm just a dinosaur.

I don't see how the non-linearity in TTF undermines the narrative. I like a fic that makes me curious and a bit confused, so long as I feel my confusion can be sorted out by paying careful attention to the narrative. To me that's often the most involving and rewarding kind of reading. I like being made to wait, and trust, and puzzle things out a bit.

Maybe you're just that much smarter than me.

But I have found with her writing and with JET's that their insistence on non-linearity makes it harder, and in the case of JET, sometimes impossible for me to tell what's going on and that detracts from the narrative, from the story they are trying to tell me. Atmosphere is all well and good but if at the end of the story, I don't know what happened and when, I think something went haywire, assuming they wanted me to know. With JET, I don't think that's always the case. But I think Jordan wanted more clarity and the narrative just got away from her. I think if she'd had more time to edit, it would have had better flow and probably better metaphors, too.

Re: 2/3

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

Sexuality is so individual, and people's responses to erotica so unpredictable, I'm not sure how this helps but okay.

It does help, in a way. I see now that many of the segments you find awkward are segments I find sensual and passionate. We can chalk this one up to very different subjective views on eroticism.

But I think Jordan wanted more clarity and the narrative just got away from her. I think if she'd had more time to edit, it would have had better flow and probably better metaphors, too.

This is probably true. Though I'd rather this fic be more impressionistic and less straight-forwardly plotty, I suppose that's entirely a matter of personal taste. The extreme requirments put on this fic by the challenge aspect of it, and it's seasonal nature, went into my evaluation of the finished product. I considered it better and more fascinating because it coped with the challenge so well. But if one were to consider the fic regardless of the challenge restrictions, its weaknesses would be far less forgivable. I'd simply never thought to consider it that way.

BTW, this was a very fair response to my previous comment, which was a little prickly. When I read this fic I saw its strengths and overlooked its weaknesses. Everyone else seemed to be overlooking its strengths and seeing its weaknesses. After the warm response to "Other Night", which I felt was merely an endearing trifle in comparison to the ambition and uniqueness of this piece, I was feeling a little out of sorts. Having one of those "fandom and I don't get each other" moments. Being a bad sport.

Re: 2/3

[wendelah1]

Thank you, but I didn't think you were being a bad sport; you asked for information, which I provided as best I could. I just wasn't sure how much it would aid in understanding. Back when we discussed "The Leap," I began to see just how disparate people's reactions to (fan)fiction and erotica can be.

I try not to take negative reactions to stories I love personally, but sometimes I do. I'm only a human being. And, sex is a touchy issue.

Mostly, I just want people to have fun discussions about fanfic.

I guess it didn't come across, but I enjoyed reading this story, too. The negatives didn't outweigh the positives for me, except for the sex scenes, and even there, I liked some of her lines. The one I quoted, for example. But I'm left feeling a little let-down, because I know how great Jordan's writing can be.