Story 220: "Fragile" by Ophelia

[wendelah1]

It's too quiet around here, folks.

I just finished reading this next story, nominated by infinitlight. It's a carefully researched casefile, a very good one, if a little on the graphic side for me. (Damn. Why am I such a light-weight?) As it unfolds, it gets better and better, and has memorable climax and denouement. I'm classifying this as gen fic, Teen-for violence.

Title: Fragile
Author: Ophelia
E-Mail: OpheliaMac@aol.com
Rating: R--mature themes
Category: T, A
Spoilers: General Fourth Season, my own fanfic story, "Poison," and a story called "Favorite Child" by Lindsay, which gives an interesting interpretation on the choice the Consortium forced Bill Mulder to make.
Keywords: Mulder/Scully UST
Summary: Mulder and Scully are called in on a case described as an alien abduction, but Mulder suspects something both more commonplace and more sinister. Mulder angst, Scully angst, imaginary small town in Wisconsin angst.

You can try sending feedback to the author, although in my experience, fandom AOL addresses are mostly dead ends. Please let us know what you think. The nomination post is always open for your suggestions.

Read "Fragile"

Comments

[infinitlight.livejournal.com]

Varnish errors >:|

I've always liked this fic. I'm interested in what makes a casefile story work. I think it's important to have a case/mystery/bad guy character that is compelling, but for me it's just as important to learn something about the characters we already know, to see how this individual case affects them, or to feel their voices throughout. I liked the story of the killer and the nod toward Mulder as profiler. (I want to say Ophelia was a Thomas Harris fan, but I can't remember how I know that--maybe I sent feedback back in the day. I think Fragile definitely has an early Thomas Harris vibe. She mentions John Douglas's memoirs in her author's notes, heh. His books do seem to be the fanfic writer's guide to serial killers. (They're also wildly popular with Criminal Minds fanfic writers, but admittedly that's a show about profiling and in which characters are loosely based on Douglas and his coworkers in the early days of profiling.))

I liked this line and thought it was a good summary of the story:

Scully smiled back, relieved. "I'm glad to see you haven't lost
your sense of humor," she said.

He sighed, a little shakily. "Scully, if I ever lost the ability
to point at the world's stupidity and laugh," he said, "I would
probably never stop crying."

I see what mogster495 means about being able to date a fic by reading it. There are certain character conventions and stylistic conventions that were popular in the earlier fanfics. The "everything relates to Samantha" theme, the Charlie name-check at the end. I think overall the story and the character interpretations mostly hold up, still. Maybe not the Mulder sobbing scene, although I think the emotion in that scene rings true.

I like Ophelia's ear for dialogue:

"Some of the clothes draped over Dani's
chair smelled like cigarette smoke, too. Her parents don't
necessarily know she has these habits," she added. "My sister
used to get around my parents' dress rules by swapping stuff with
girls at school. She used to get off the bus in a knee-length
skirt and white button-down blouse, then run for the bathroom and
change into jeans and some half-transparent top."

"Did you rat on her?" Mulder asked, curious.

"No," she said, as if surprised that he'd ask. "I admit to
having been a spy and a snoop as a kid, but I wasn't a rat."

"Ah, so the attraction was merely to information for its own
sake," Mulder said. "How scientific of you. My sister would
have ratted on me."

"If you'd worn see-through girls' blouses to school, you'd have
deserved to be ratted on," she said.

I think that sounds exactly like them.

[wendelah1]

Varnish errors, yep. I keep thinking I should just bow to the inevitable and move this to DW. But there aren't that many people there who follow TXF. So here we sit.

I'm interested in what makes a casefile story work. I think it's important to have a case/mystery/bad guy character that is compelling, but for me it's just as important to learn something about the characters we already know, to see how this individual case affects them, or to feel their voices throughout. I liked the story of the killer and the nod toward Mulder as profiler. (I want to say Ophelia was a Thomas Harris fan, but I can't remember how I know that--maybe I sent feedback back in the day. I think Fragile definitely has an early Thomas Harris vibe. She mentions John Douglas's memoirs in her author's notes, heh. His books do seem to be the fanfic writer's guide to serial killers. (They're also wildly popular with Criminal Minds fanfic writers, but admittedly that's a show about profiling and in which characters are loosely based on Douglas and his coworkers in the early days of profiling.))

I think the most compelling sections of this are those told from the POV of the man who defiled the dead body. He was seriously twisted. I can see the influence of John Douglas and Tom Harris, for sure. For a casefile to work, you have to create suspense and if possible, a sense of foreboding. It's like you want to find out what happens so you keep reading but you dread it, too. If you can make the readers believe someone awful might happen to Mulder and/orScully, so much the better.

Absolutely, Ophelia's dialog was excellent, overall.

Thank you for reccing this.

[szgrey.livejournal.com]

I think the most compelling sections of this are those told from the POV of the man who defiled the dead body.

Me too. I'm trying to think why that is, and the best I can come up with is that those sections seem to gel more, maybe because they're not trying to do as much- so we get this pure, deeply creepy focalization through this twisted mind, while the other sections are trying to handle all the layers of Mulder's and Scully's characterization, relationship, dialogue, and the unfolding of the investigation. (Plus things (like the frequent references to particular episodes) that date it & sometimes feel clunky.) There's this wonderfully-crafted plot, with a well-drawn setting, good details, good dialogue, and for the most part it moves along really well, but sometimes it gets weighed down by things that might better be trimmed, like redundant-feeling explanations of what's going on in Mulder's or Scully's head. The Thomas sections aren't carrying that weight.

[wendelah1]

There's this wonderfully-crafted plot, with a well-drawn setting, good details, good dialogue, and for the most part it moves along really well, but sometimes it gets weighed down by things that might better be trimmed, like redundant-feeling explanations of what's going on in Mulder's or Scully's head. The Thomas sections aren't carrying that weight.

That explains a lot, actually.