Bardsmaid

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

I'm not even sure where to begin, in writing this.

On Monday evening I received some terrible news. Our friend, our fellow X-Phile, our extraordinarily thoughtful and talented writer bardsmaid has passed away.

Frankly, I'm at a loss for words, and have been ever since her daughter thoughtfully called me that night. I have so much more to say, and will definitely take some time to write up a proper, thorough post about bardsmaid and what she meant to me as a writer, an X-Files fan, and as a beloved friend. After all, one of the great foundations of my friendship with Susan was our shared love of thorough feedback and the marvelous details of life. So she deserves a thorough post.

:)

But it's going to take me some time to gather my thoughts and put them together.

In the meantime, I will refer you to this post, where Susan's daughter Annie has written a message and beautifully presented a remarkable quote from Susan herself about the loss of loved ones, carrying them with us, and about how we look at life. It's wonderful food for thought.

If you are so inclined, please leave a message there on bardsmaid's site. That way, all the messages from us will be in one place for her family to read and perhaps find comfort in.

And if you want to do something in memory of Susan, I can think of no greater thing than to go over to her website and read her writings and X-Files fanfiction. She loved when people would read her work and send her a quick note, letting her know what they thought of her stories. It meant the world to her. So I think if you're looking for a way to honor her, that would be a great way to do it. Read and enjoy!

All the best,
Sherry
aka Sinkwriter

P.S. Now that Annie has posted something official, I promised her that I would get the word out to all the places where Susan was a member, in order to reach as many of her online friends as possible. Therefore, deepest apologies if you end up reading this repeatedly today on various XF sites. I just didn't want to miss anyone.

Comments

[badforthefish.livejournal.com]

I posted the sad news on Haven. I'm at a loss for words too. We exchanged a few emails over the years; she built my website which still bears her site design copyright. She was such a lovely person, and I'm so grateful for all the help she gave me and the interesting conversations we shared. She also was a very talented writer and I was so used seeing her around that now it feels like the X-F fandom is suddenly painfully askew. When I wrote a classification of fanfic writers the "Platypus" was modelled after Susan:

"Often underrated, The Platypus digs for all the interesting rough angles in the X-Files universe. They travel the tortuous paths, avoid the big MSR highways, and focus on minor characters or lesser known plot lines. They are odd birds who write like scientists to dissect a particular aspect of the characters, the mytharc or an episode. They do not seek fandom fame which is just as well since they rarely get the credit they deserve."

This is a heartbreaking loss for our community.

Do you know what happened to her?

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for spreading the word, badforthefish. There are some sites I wasn't a part of, so it's tough to remember all of the places Susan posted her work or chatted as a member. I know Haven is one of them, so I'm glad you were able to post about it there. If you think of any other sites where it might need to be mentioned, just let me know! I appreciate it, and I know her family does.

She made your website? How wonderful. What type of business/site was it, if I may ask?

I said this over on Susan's site in response to her daughter's message and I'll say it (and think it) again and again, I'm sure: I cannot imagine not seeing her emails pop up in my inbox every week. I feel such a loss. She was an excellent friend, and I wasn't done being friends with her, you know? There was so much more to talk about!

I love what you wrote as a classification. That description fits her to a T. Especially that last line about not seeking fandom fame and not getting the credit they deserve -- I swear, if I could have everyone read her writings, I would! I think she was so talented, and I learned so much from her, as a writer and as a person.

As for what happened, I'm sorry to say I don't know much. I knew she had been having some health issues, some minor that she'd shared with me and some more serious that she didn't want to get into just yet. So I respectfully waited to see if she needed to talk. I did send her a message, asking if she was feeling better, but she thanked me for caring and replied that things weren't going well and that her sister was coming to visit for a little while to help out and they'd see from there how things go. Unfortunately, that was the last time I heard from her. A few days later I sent another message, asking how things were going with her sister there and if she was feeling better, but she did not reply. Looking at the date of my email, it was two days before she died so perhaps she was not in a state to reply.

As cybertoothtiger said to me today, perhaps it's not something we're meant to know but in a way it doesn't really matter. It sounds like she got the chance to say goodbye to her family and was surrounded by their love when she passed.

Thank you again for your kind words about Bardsmaid. It's absolutely a heartbreaking loss to our community.

[badforthefish.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome.

She helped me create a fanfic website (http://www.undertherug.net/) so I could have a nice home for my stories. I later learned web design and modified it to include the fics of my then writing partner, but I always kept Bardsmaid copyright as a sign of gratitude for giving her time and skills to a virtual stranger. The basic site layout is still the same.

The list of fic writers classifications can be found here (http://badforthefish.livejournal.com/28496.html) if you're curious to read the rest.

As for Susan, I had been wondering if it had been an accident or illness. I didn't know she was ill as we hadn't spoken in a while. It's a small comfort to know she was surrounded by her family when she died. I still find it hard to wrap my head around the idea that I will no longer see her comments pop up in the fandom. This is terribly sad.

[missmonkeh.livejournal.com]

she wrote some of the best Krycek fic out there. What sad news :(

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

That's actually how I first met her online. I wrote a Krycek story for a 'Secret Santa' X-Files challenge, and posted it to that community. I was trying to get to the heart of the character, based on what we knew of him from the show but I'd never written XF fanfic before. One of the readers of my story referred me to Susan's fic as an excellent example of Alex Krycek. I started reading her works and was just blown away at the attention to character and detail. I sent her an email complimenting her work, and we haven't stopped chatting since.

I'm going to miss her as a friend, and as a writer. It's heartbreaking to me that I won't be able to talk with her or share with her anymore, I'm already feeling that loss... but it's also heartbreaking to know there won't be any more Krycek fic coming from her either. That is a tragedy.

P.S. Love your Krycek user pic. :)

[infinitlight.livejournal.com]

So sorry to hear this.

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

It's definitely sad news.

[syntax6.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to read this. I did not know bardsmaid well, but it was clear in her writing how much she cherished her family, and I'm sure they must be missing her terribly now. My condolences.

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for commenting. :)

[mogster495.livejournal.com]

I am sad and moved the communities' loss. I never knew bardsmaid, but I love her as I love all fellow fans. There is a comradery that is shared among us, and I will always feel the loss of a like mind.

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

I like what you say here.

It's amazing how people can connect online. I never would have expected that when I first started exploring on the 'net and searched out "The X-Files" to see what was out there. (Oh, so much, as it turned out!) I entered fandom tentatively, unsure of myself, but Susan was such a good friend and so welcoming. Always interested in a good conversation about the show and its characters, and about pretty much any topic you wanted to discuss. She was an excellent example of that fan community comradery you mention. It's such a loss.

[mementox.livejournal.com]

I second this comment.

[jaimekalex.livejournal.com]

I just can't stop crying And thinking of her

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry! I understand the heartbreak, and send you virtual hugs.