Story 234: "in the lonely cool before dawn" by soundingsea

[wendelah1]

Before idella recorded her podfic for xf_is_love, I'm embarrassed to say I'd never read soundingsea's work. Originally written for Apocalyptothon 2011, "in the lonely cool before dawn" is a haunting, lyrically written short story, set in a deftly-drawn post-apocalyptic world.

in the lonely cool before dawn (1573 words) by soundingsea
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The X-Files
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Characters: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully
Summary:

Ominous clouds huddle low against the horizon, grey stacked on grey. The road is a ribbon of emptiness stretching out until the next hill, cracked pavement unpatched after a winter's thaw.

Leave feedback for author (at least hit the kudo button), then please come back and let us know what you think. The nomination post is always open for your suggestions.

Comments

[badforthefish.livejournal.com]

Oooh! I loved this. Vivid descriptions, good characterisations - okay I'm a sucker for apocafic but still. This was well written, with a great atmosphere and I don't know what else to say because it was good and I liked everything about it, from the comments about the food, the gas, Scully smelling the rain and the ominous mention of the dead zone and what might be going on in San Diego.
I wish it had been longer. It deserved to be longer. Well done to the author for creating such a convincing world.

[wendelah1]

I agree. My only wish would be for It to have been longer. The world-building is exceptional, especially given the length. Many writers can't create this vivid a fictional landscape in twice the words.

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

I’ve forgotten how this is done. Um.

This was really well done – very steady. Very strong in the details, nice subtle world-building that tells you just enough to give you a basis for asking questions. Surprisingly low key for apocafic, and I mean than as a positive.

It’s interesting how much the general tone and feeling of XF apocafics vary, considering that they’re all sharing the same “things are not good” end of the spectrum. What felt different, and what I like, about this one is that it’s neither dramatic (i.e. fighting the aliens with bamfy tactics!) nor truly depressing (i.e. everyone on the planet is dead or dying). I like that whatever else has changed, Mulder and Scully remain troopers – exhausted but unbroken by the things they’ve seen, as ever, working away diligently together. I like that soundingsea has created a new world that’s clearly just a shorn off, patched up, nomadic version of the old one. This isn’t an apocalypse where the world ended; it’s one where the world changed. And not even such a radical change, as far as apocalyptic cataclysms go. I find that believable, and interesting, and even in a strange way a little bit comforting – this idea that, up to a point at least, humanity can weather an apocalypse, navigate an apocalypse, and still charge money for gas and sunflower seeds.

There was some hint that something big and bad and dramatic may yet go down (“time is wearing short and there's too much left to do.”), but the thing I wondered about more was how strong the force that’s brought on this change is – whether it can be brought to a halt, or whether the change will continue until the new world’s resemblance to the old world fades out.

The only thing I didn’t buy is that Mulder and Scully are only now having sex for the first time. Part of that is the way they’re characterized through the rest of the fic. To me they seem like people who are already sometimes having sex. But additionally, a sex interlude (even an intimate, understated sex interlude) just seemed out of place in this fic. IMO, this felt like the kind of fic where they speak their thoughts in the dark for a bit until they both fall asleep without any intention or awareness of drifting off, because they’re just that tired, and it doesn’t matter because the other will be there to discuss things properly again the next day.

Which is possibly rather too specific of an example to be foisting on someone else's fic, but that’s just the kind of fic this feels like to me. The Poignant Sex Interlude would be perfectly good writing, but IMO it seemed to belong to a different fic.

[badforthefish.livejournal.com]

Awww, you're here. *beams*

I had to google "bamfy". All this internet slang is way ahead of me.

ETA: The only thing I didn’t buy is that Mulder and Scully are only now having sex for the first time.

True. Especially now that Anderson's Paley comments anchored "all things" sex as canon. It didn't bother me too much in this story though, after all I had to go along with the fact that Scully had a baby girl in the previous story we were discussing, but yeah, there was some disonance there.

[tri-sbr.livejournal.com]

I agree with pretty much everything you said, especially this:

----
what I like, about this one is that it’s neither dramatic (i.e. fighting the aliens with bamfy tactics!) nor truly depressing (i.e. everyone on the planet is dead or dying). I like that whatever else has changed, Mulder and Scully remain troopers – exhausted but unbroken by the things they’ve seen, as ever, working away diligently together.
----

Dramatic and/or depressing can make for a good story, but I, too, like that here Mulder, Scully, and M&S together are still basically the same, navigating through this different world, still doing what they can to fight. It might be harder to sustain this dynamic without veering into dramatic or depressing (or both) for a longer story, although I'm sure it's possible (and I would definitely read a longer version of this if it existed).

I liked the scene showing that Mulder is still butting heads with the locals (trying to get them into the motel) and Scully is still smoothing things over ("Time to defuse this situation. "We've got apples to trade," Scully says, and the local brightens considerably.")

Mulder's reference to San Diego was interesting in that basically nothing was made of it, and yet, of course, that is where Bill and his family would have been. Brief mentions of things that are full of subtext for the reader (like the San Diego example) is part of how this fic creates such a vivid and real-feeling world in such a short space of words.

I love the last line: "The world's gone to hell, but neither of them is facing it alone." I like that M&S feel and act like they still have each other. I do agree, though, that this felt like a universe in which they had been lovers for quite some time.

[wendelah1]

Dramatic and/or depressing can make for a good story, but I, too, like that here Mulder, Scully, and M&S together are still basically the same, navigating through this different world, still doing what they can to fight. It might be harder to sustain this dynamic without veering into dramatic or depressing (or both) for a longer story, although I'm sure it's possible (and I would definitely read a longer version of this if it existed).

I like seeing them working together too. That's one of the things I liked so much about "Machines of Freedom," too. Their task is difficult, perhaps even impossible, but they remain undaunted. Our heroes, fighting the forces of evil together. This is what was missing for me in the 2008 film.

[tri-sbr.livejournal.com]

Ooh, thanks - I have had "Machines of Freedom" on my to-read list, but I am moving it up the queue now!

[wendelah1]

The only thing I didn’t buy is that Mulder and Scully are only now having sex for the first time. Part of that is the way they’re characterized through the rest of the fic. To me they seem like people who are already sometimes having sex. But additionally, a sex interlude (even an intimate, understated sex interlude) just seemed out of place in this fic. IMO, this felt like the kind of fic where they speak their thoughts in the dark for a bit until they both fall asleep without any intention or awareness of drifting off, because they’re just that tired, and it doesn’t matter because the other will be there to discuss things properly again the next day.

Which is possibly rather too specific of an example to be foisting on someone else's fic, but that’s just the kind of fic this feels like to me. The Poignant Sex Interlude would be perfectly good writing, but IMO it seemed to belong to a different fic.

Should I be embarrassed to admit I didn't read the sex scene, short as it was? I didn't even remember that there was one, let alone that it was a first-time fic, it was that understated. However, having actually read it this time around, I agree. Unnecessary, and unless this is set in a pre-"All Things" AU, I suppose it's inconsistent with canon. I wonder if its inclusion has to do with the fic being a gift for someone who definitely ships the characters.

I did find one minor error: Napa Valley is in Northern California, but I didn't notice that the first time around either.

All in all, a wonderful little find, all thanks to idella for her lovely recording, too.