Rerun: "How to Fake an Orgasm" by V. Salmone

[wendelah1]

Being in the mood for something light and fluffy, I thought it might be fun to reread "How to Fake an Orgasm" by V.Salmone aka Punk and Sab. We last visited this fic in 2008.

How to Fake an Orgasm (23755 words) by Punk, Sab
Chapters: 11/11
Fandom: The X-Files
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, Fox Mulder/Original Female Character
Characters: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Original Female Character
Additional Tags: First Time, V. Salmone, Co-Written, punkensab, POV Alternating, Thanksgiving, Case Fic
Summary:

Mulder, Scully, and the other woman.

Written as V. Salmone.

I'm linking to the post at Archive of Our Own, but the story is at Gossamer under Salmone, V. if you prefer text files. It's easy to hit that kudos button, but you can leave a comment, too.

This is kind of a crazy week for me, but I'll get back to the nomination queue for next time, I promise.

Read How to Fake an Orgasm.

Comments

[rainatlas.livejournal.com]

Ah, well. That was adorable.

I'm not usually too keen on Mulder with any other girl, but this was light and funny and enjoyable, with just the right ending. Sue was likable! So much so that I felt a little annoyed and embarrassed for Scully there for a bit during her flirtatious displays of jealousy. And of course, sad for Sue knowing she never had a chance in the end. I could go on and on analyzing the relationshippy bits of this and all of Mulder's complexities but this piece left me feeling light and not really in the mood for all that.

I think my favorite line was Scully's less-than-enthused "Go team." regarding the impending hunt for the Jersey Devil offspring. The Jersey Devil gets a sequel! I love it.

Excellent writing and delightful read. Thanks for posting this.

[wendelah1]

You are welcome! I'm so happy you enjoyed it as much as I did. I'm really curious to see what this story's reception will be this time around.

I'm not usually too keen on Mulder with any other girl, but this was light and funny and enjoyable, with just the right ending. Sue was likable! So much so that I felt a little annoyed and embarrassed for Scully there for a bit during her flirtatious displays of jealousy. And of course, sad for Sue knowing she never had a chance in the end. I could go on and on analyzing the relationshippy bits of this and all of Mulder's complexities but this piece left me feeling light and not really in the mood for all that.

This Mulder/Other story was unique in that it didn't portray Sue as a victim or as clueless. I didn't feel bad for her at all. She got to have fun with him. She got to have a lot of great sex. She asked him for more. He said, no I can't do that, and she dumped him flat on his ass, which was rather satisfying. See, I always thought Mulder would make a terrible boyfriend (I've even written unposted meta about it) and I think this story demonstrates why. He's too obsessed with his work, for one thing. And then there's Scully, who is there all of the time and essential to his work and willing to put up with shit that no normal woman should have to because she understands who he is and loves him anyway.

There was another Mulder/other story, Blair Provence's "Banging Your Head Against a Red-Haired Brick Wall," where the POV character spends a lot of time planning her wedding to Mulder and pining after him and wondering why he isn't like a normal boyfriend. She really doesn't get him, and she suffers for her unwillingness to see what's truly going on. I think that's not an uncommon way for someone who is more in love than their romantic partner to act, but it's also kind of icky to watch and just not a nice thing to inflict on your own character. I like how Punk and Sab handled their Other Woman characterization much better. Sue had spunk. I like spunk.

Weirdly, I think Scully was probably the most OOC in this fic. Because I don't think her reaction to Mulder dating another woman would be to get flirty-jealous. Jealous, yes. Scully is just as territorial toward Mulder as he is toward her. But I think she'd be more likely to brood about it in private than to do something as openly emotional as flirting. She'd brood and write another journal article and just keep showing up, doing her job. But I ENJOYED THIS MORE. I think it made for a better story in terms of balance. If this Scully behaved like Canon!Scully, they'd still be platonic partners because Mulder wouldn't have had any reason to come back and confront Scully with her flirty behavior. Because Mulder flirts with Scully. A lot. But when has Scully ever flirted with him, before the seventh season. Rumor has it there was flirting in the seventh season. I didn't see it, but that's why I'm a noromo. I never really see it...

[rainatlas.livejournal.com]

Yes, I absolutely agree that Scully was the most out of character in this fic, for all the reasons you brought up. It's also why it felt so awkward throughout her displays of flirty-jealousy. I do think at this point in their partnership she would be a little incredulous as to Mulder's dating behavior and subsequent happiness in his relationship with Sue, and that would certainly change her behavior towards him, though not her personality in the way we've seen in this fic. Like you said, Jealous, yes, flirty, no. But I think regardless of Scully's behavior, Mulder would have figured out that Sue wasn't for him, and Scully is the one who is, as you so perfectly described, "there all of the time and essential to his work and willing to put up with shit that no normal woman should have to because she understands who he is and loves him anyway." He already knows this. Going through the dating motions would have put this in perspective for him.

And yeah, Mulder probably would make the worst boyfriend in history. As for the flirting? It may not be the traditional version of flirting (though I can think of a few instances... "Maybe if it starts raining sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.") Scully's style is subtle, understated. Indirect, emotional. But it's been there from the beginning, because even when she's teasing him, mothering him, challenging his beliefs, she's proving her dedication and affection for him. She's flirting in the only way that makes sense for her personality. By season seven she's allowing herself to be more playful and open and we, like Mulder, can recognize that more readily because it's more of the sexual type of flirtation (on top of the emotional stuff).

I generally prefer fic that is believable as potential canon, or at least in the realm of possibility. A season six Mulder's dating frenzy and a Scully in jealous flirtation mode doesn't quite fit that profile, though I still felt this was an enjoyable and recommended read.

[wendelah1]

I generally prefer fic that is believable as potential canon, or at least in the realm of possibility. A season six Mulder's dating frenzy and a Scully in jealous flirtation mode doesn't quite fit that profile, though I still felt this was an enjoyable and recommended read.

I understand. I love canon-compliant fic myself, like gen post-eps, gen casefiles and gen AUs that change one element and go on from there. But I'm always up for a well-told story. And I guess the realm of possibility for enjoyable fanfiction expands exponentially with great writing. The quality of the writing trumps everything for me, and allows me to suspend disbelief for the duration of the tale. I think that's true for the series, too, maybe for all of the television I watch. It's not until afterward, when I start to analyze that I begin to question.

But what I want to analyze next is how they did it. Why specifically did this story work for me when others didn't. The structure of the story helps. I'm particularly charmed by the way the glass-blowing is handled. It seems at first like a trifle of a detail, then quickly it's a symbol of everything about Sue that jolts Mulder out of his serial dating and into a real relationship, and finally it's a symbol of their failed relationship when she hands him the glass ashtray she's made for him and dumps him, in one fell swoop. But I think that what's most convincing is Susan herself. Her attractiveness and charm and emotional openness pull the reader into the story. She's a fully realized original character, not just a third wheel, and not merely a plot device to make Scully jealous and flirt, and think about what she has with Mulder, and what she could have with him, although Sue serves that function, too. We don't see many original characters that are this well-developed in fanfiction. It's not that fanfic writers don't have the talent, although that is true in many cases, but most often they don't have the interest and they don't perceive the need.

And sometimes they simply miscalculate and create a character that doesn't work. I think the character of Jack Wickham in Scarlet Baldy and Aloysia Virgata's The Common Fate of All Things Rare is a good example of that. He's an aggressive, abrasive police detective who gets turned in too short an order into someone M&S can work with. With even less transition, he gets cast as a romantic partner for Scully. It throws the balance of the story off and it never rights itself again.

[bmerb.livejournal.com]

Um hello? Did you see Scully being wine and cheese into Mulder's hotel room in the episode in Florida, and he goes running off? Yeah, she flirts on occasion too, he's just obvious about it. I'm not a noromo but I do generally prefer UST to anything else!

[write-out.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, I LOVE this story, one of my favorites! I will be back with more comments after another read, although I think wendelah1 pretty much says everything I feel about this one. But I want to read the story again and see if I pick up anything different this time.

[wendelah1]

I loved this story. It should have a zillion kudos on AO3. Please do come back with your thoughts, even if you just want to agree with mine.

[write-out.livejournal.com]

Yep, I still love this. Sue is a well-rounded and dimensional character, as everyone else has already said, and I can totally buy Mulder falling for her. So Sue is a major part of why this story works so well for me. Another reason is the writing itself. The story flows so well for me, the easy banter and flirting, the case file, the side characters. Everything falls into place seamlessly for me. While I love LOOOOOVE the angst, the fact that there is not an overwhelming amount of it here pleases me. There are some funny XF stories (thinking of some by David Hearne), but angst seems to be the order of the day for the show and so it's refreshing to take a step back from it and read something that is practically lighthearted.

Favorite bits include the phones, Scully falling into a secret cave, the last scene in the laundromat. When they finally declare themselves to each other after Mulder comes back...oh, I really like that part. Mulder talking as soon as she opens the door... I just love that part. And the tentative kisses. And Mulder making a mess of his sandwich. "Fix me!"

I'm so glad to have a chance to read this again!

[wendelah1]

The phones are priceless. One of those bits I would kill to have written. The scene in the laundromat is a perfect ending.

I'm so glad you got to read it again, too.

[estella-c.livejournal.com]

I feel the love too. But want to congratulate you on your icon. "The Secret of the Old Clock," heh. Ah, memories.

[write-out.livejournal.com]

Another Nancy Drew fan! Yes, I adored her, still do love the books.

[discordantwords.livejournal.com]

I love this story!

A while back, I was thinking about it and trying to remember the title, and all I kept being able to come up with was that Mulder dated a girl who liked rare steak. It was nice revisiting the story, and rediscovering all of the charming little touches: Mulder and Scully's friendship, the way her phone keeps reaching out to his, the introduction of another woman who does not turn out to be horrible or crazy or obsessive-- just pretty and nice and funny and ultimately wrong for our hero.

This was a lot lighter than most of Sab's other material. She and Punk made magic when they wrote together.

[estella-c.livejournal.com]

TOTALLY agree with that last sentence.

[tri-sbr.livejournal.com]

I have nothing well-thought out to say. I enjoyed reading the story again, and liked all the details (mostly mentioned already) - Scully's phone calling Mulder's, the banter, Mulder's pisces discussions with both women, the jersey devil girl. For my third time reading it, I think I was able to 1) let go of my trouble believing in the 'Mulder dating frenzy' (not that I believe in it more, but I just didn't let it get in my way as much) and 2) believe a little more in the transition Mulder makes from Sue to Scully. I think previously I had trouble with him going from 'lighting up like a Christmas tree' (paraphrasing) around Sue to being kind of annoyed with her. Mulder lighting up like a Christmas tree because of Sue was a stretch (for me) in the first place, and then how the magic faded is not entirely clear to me. I get that it's to do with Scully and her jealous-flirting but I still feel like I'm missing something there. Regardless of that, it was fun to read and probably one of the few mulder/other stories I can really say I enjoy.

[estella-c.livejournal.com]

HTFAO is one of very few examples I can currently think of that fulfills one of my favorite fic genres: Mulder-other-leading-to-msr,-readable. Most of these excursions have been, in my experience, Marysue specials with silly Marysues and silly writing. There are some exceptions ("Flying Under the Radar"?) but in those cases there is some kind of naked anti-Scully prejudice, and I'm not having that. I like Scully. I like her with Mulder.

Unlike most, I am not terribly disturbed by what might be considered OOC depictions of our heroes. (This is, of course, all about me.) There were many contradictory and teasing hints in the hundreds of scripts we now consider, and I like seeing them played out to the max. It's like shucking off a straitjacket.

Dating Mulder suits me fine. He's frustrated at being kept from his quest and vulnerable to boredom. Maybe he remembers how manly dating made him feel in the olden days before the quest. Scully's never going to make the move that would fascinate him into the bedroom. She doesn't really know that she wants Mulder--her common sense keeps her from considering him as a boyfriend, thus putting her in the Wendy camp--but some genuine competition wakes her up. And Susan is genuine. This is not a Marysue. Or if it is, I like her. I'm sure I'd adore either Punk or Sab personally. They are so perceptive and funny, emphasis on the latter, and that's the key to my heart.

Oh, I like having an "other" because a real story needs a conflict. Smut biscuits may be tasty, but have little nutritive value. As much as I like "Never," W was right in pointing out that it posited a casefile that got tossed after the sex.

Was Scully really so flirty? They both seem to think she was. Talking about signs and lovers. I enjoyed it.

Anyhow, she was drugged.

I got pretty tired of that mug of tea.

Oh: anybody notice that the "symbol" of the relationship crash is an ashtray? Who the heck deals in ashtrays anymore? And that S thinks it an appropriate gift for her boyfriend is a deal-breaker. First, M doesn't smoke. Second, we remember who does.

Frankly, I feel that "Banging Your Head Against a Red-Haired Brick Wall" is disqualified by its title.

[wendelah1]

Oh: anybody notice that the "symbol" of the relationship crash is an ashtray? Who the heck deals in ashtrays anymore? And that S thinks it an appropriate gift for her boyfriend is a deal-breaker. First, M doesn't smoke. Second, we remember who does.

I did: Here, which is a couple of comments above this one.

Sue doesn't seem like a Mary Sue to me. She has positive and negative traits and she isn't a stand in for either of the writers.

Oh, I like having an "other" because a real story needs a conflict. Smut biscuits may be tasty, but have little nutritive value. As much as I like "Never," W was right in pointing out that it posited a casefile that got tossed after the sex.

Yes. A conflict, a crisis or two, a resolution. This story had no sex scene but I certainly didn't miss it. I still wish someone would write the casefile for "Never," although I think it would end up much darker than its predecessor.