Story 173: "How Gravity Works on Planet Spooky" by Khyber

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

khyber@citizensofgravity.com
DISTRIBUTION: Ephemeral, Gossamer, please ask for anywhere else.
RATING: PG-13 for mature content
CATEGORIES: V,R
KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully something.
SPOILERS: S7, lots.
SUMMARY: Post-ep for "First Person Shooter." "And Mulder's
falling down on his end of the deal by doing a lousy job of making
the bed; it's impossible to convince myself that this really
is nothing."

Disclaimer: 1013 owns and is sorely neglecting significant
creative capital borrowed in this story.

Author's Notes: Part of Khyber VS 7. Thanks to Mims and
Samiam for early reads. This story was posted a week ago at:
http://www.alanna.net/Khyber. I *strongly* recommend reading
"Collapsar" and "Weret-hekau" first.


3. How Gravity Works on Planet Spooky


And if you have any suggestions for fics you'd like us to read once we get back to our regular schedule, please head over to the recs page and toss 'em out there.

Comments

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I do like that, or what is more to the point, I'm not sure I believe it. I guess it's supposed to be a sign of increasing intimacy except it isn't really because she has to pretend and he has to pretend and it all feels like a lot of work for very little reward.

That's interesting. Even in canon I can absolutely see them having these unspoken checks and balances between them. In fact, I find the bit about Scully and Mulder both pretending he doesn't sleep in the bed a very excellent bit of characterization all around. I think our disagreement on this issue makes an interesting case for how people see intimacy very differently. As I see it, in a strange way the pretending and the self-denial and all of that is what makes it so intimate. It's also what keeps them exhausted and apart, for now, but the thing is, they're putting in this effort. Their consideration for each other and their care in tending to their relationship is evidenced by how much work they're both putting into not fucking it up. They've been through so much, and they are pretty damaged (more so than in canon, I agree) and they're sensitive to each other (which means vulnerable to each other) in a way they're not sensitive to much anymore. So they're navigating their relationship acting on both cowardice and exceptional bravery, unable to tell one apart from the other because they're co-occurring conditions. I feel I understand their cowardice, and I admire their bravery.

why be jealous of an apartment she doesn't even want to be in? Because there's a tiny bit of her life that isn't entirely his?

It's a piece of her life that's not theirs. That's what my guess would be. It's a piece of her life that's antagonistic to what they are, who they are, what they do. And yeah, his jealousy makes him selfish. He's covetous of her in that way, he doesn't like the idea of Scully living a societally approved life. Big surprise there, considering the disdain Mulder seems to have for most of the conventions of society. But it's not just about him. It's perceptive and understanding of him to recognize the role Scully's apartment has come to play in her life. It's become a reminder of everything she's lost or failed to be. It "pushes her to measure up" but has no regard for who she actually is. I love that Mulder understands how she thinks, the ways she measures herself.

Plus I just think Scully is much more self-reliant than Khyber, and I guess by extension Mulder, does.

And again we seem to have opposite views. I see the KvsS7 Scully as being intensely, rigidly self-reliant - to the point where it's not healthy. What is it that makes you think she's not?

I do wish Khyber would have evened out their issues a bit though. Mulder seems peachy next to her. Mind you, I think it does seem compliant with canon that if Mulder and Scully were having sex all along, Scully would be left feeling far more vulnerable and drained than Mulder. Chalk it up to sexist double standards, their personal characters, or biology, but I just don't think sex is usually quite as complicated an issue for Mulder.

[wendelah1]

That's interesting. Even in canon I can absolutely see them having these unspoken checks and balances between them. In fact, I find the bit about Scully and Mulder both pretending he doesn't sleep in the bed a very excellent bit of characterization all around. I think our disagreement on this issue makes an interesting case for how people see intimacy very differently. As I see it, in a strange way the pretending and the self-denial and all of that is what makes it so intimate. It's also what keeps them exhausted and apart, for now, but the thing is, they're putting in this effort. Their consideration for each other and their care in tending to their relationship is evidenced by how much work they're both putting into not fucking it up.

And I think everything they are doing is is fucking up their relationship. People who are in an intimate relationship (as opposed to a codependent one) don't have to go to such elaborate lengths to be in the same space. And what is it about pretending he's not using his bed that makes it somehow easier for her to use it? Why is that such an issue for them? After all this time, why can't they just stop this already? It's worse than what we see on the show by far, and makes me wonder where Khyber was planning to take this. Maybe I should be glad he didn't finish it.

Some of my despair over this story is due to having already read the next three sections, which made me feel pretty terrible. Now I feel like I need to post a warning: do not read if you are prone to depressive thoughts.

It's perceptive and understanding of him to recognize the role Scully's apartment has come to play in her life. It's become a reminder of everything she's lost or failed to be. It "pushes her to measure up" but has no regard for who she actually is. I love that Mulder understands how she thinks, the ways she measures herself.

Part of the problem is that this focus of his on her apartment and what he perceives as being wrong with it feels off to me, and that's not helping me with this bit of characterization for either of them.

I do wish Khyber would have evened out their issues a bit though. Mulder seems peachy next to her. Mind you, I think it does seem compliant with canon that if Mulder and Scully were having sex all along, Scully would be left feeling far more vulnerable and drained than Mulder. Chalk it up to sexist double standards, their personal characters, or biology, but I just don't think sex is usually quite as complicated an issue for Mulder.

He does seem a little too peachy to me, too. Mulder is much more neurotic than this.

Are these issues of hers related to sex? I thought this had to do with Pfaster? Anyway, I thought they'd stopped having sex for some number of years, but that is one of the more confusing elements of this story cycle and universe.

I guess the bottom line is little of this works for me. It's not consistent with how I see her or him or their relationship, whether you throw sex into the mix or not. When she's had work-related problems in the past, she's gotten help. She hasn't resorted to an elaborate subterfuge to get her needs met. I think Scully would go to counseling, clean the damn apartment up and get on with her life.

So I remain unconvinced any of this happened or could happen between them. I'm re-watching the series as I read, and this story doesn't match up with what I see on screen at all, which is the opposite of how I felt when I read "Parabiosis."

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

People who are in an intimate relationship (as opposed to a codependent one) don't have to go to such elaborate lengths to be in the same space.

Healthy people in a healthy intimate relationship don't behave this way, but Mulder and Scully are not healthy people by a long shot, and by extension their relationship cannot be healthy. They're sure trying damn hard to get to a place - with each other and within themselves - where it can be, though.

And what is it about pretending he's not using his bed that makes it somehow easier for her to use it?

1. Because that means she's taking something from him for personal reasons, and that he's giving something to her for personal reasons. If he's not sleeping in the bed then she can feel she's taking nothing and he's giving nothing and it's not personal.

2. Because if he's not sleeping in the bed then she's not now sleeping in his bed in the same sense that she is if he does sleep in it. If he sleeps in it, then it's his personal space. His body has been intimate with that space, and now so is hers. If she sleeps in his bed there's a sexual element to it, but if she sleeps in the bed that he happens to have in his apartment, they can say it's nothing.

And Mulder's falling down on his end of the deal by doing a
lousy job of making the bed; it's impossible to convince myself
that this really is nothing.


-makes me wonder where Khyber was planning to take this. Maybe I should be glad he didn't finish it.

I'm kind of glad he didn't finish it too, but for opposite reasons (shocker). I could be totally off base, but Waterskiers (and some of his other writings) make me think he was going to end it with them 'escaping into obscurity' or something - getting out of the fight. I can never imagine the story going that way, and I don't want to imagine it. I'm one of those people who read Dancing Skeleton Day and hoped it meant Mulder and Scully were coming back.

Some of my despair over this story is due to having already read the next three sections, which made me feel pretty terrible. Now I feel like I need to post a warning: do not read if you are prone to depressive thoughts.

I do remember them being extremely wrenching, but given my love for the way Khyber writes wrenching, I'm looking forward to them tremendously.
Are these issues of hers related to sex? I thought this had to do with Pfaster?

I would say yes, but not in the stereotypical "Issues with Sex" sense. The way I see KvsS7, the AU aspect of it (which is primarily evident in the characterizations) comes from the one thing Khyber changed waaaay back in S3: the MSR has not been platonic all these years. Because the nature of their relationship was different, the way they experienced their partnership, and by proxy the work, was different too. Meaning, also, that they responded differently to traumatic situations than they did in canon. I think that one benefit of a platonic relationship is that it has a kind of integrity that's easier to maintain under enormous amounts of stress. In a platonic relationship everything is less personal, which is particularly important if you're already in kind of a co-dependant bind. If something in their working life hurts them, it's probably not going to have as much impact on their platonic relationship as it does on a sexual one, and if they do something that hurts each other, the hurt is more likely to remain localized to one specific area, rather than bleeding out. The if-then's and boundaries of a platonic relationship are a lot easier to maintain.

So in the immediate sense Scully is sleeping at Mulder's apartment because of her encounter with Pfaster, but all of this is part of a much greater picture as well.

Anyway, I thought they'd stopped having sex for some number of years, but that is one of the more confusing elements of this story cycle and universe.

My impression is that they had sex once, and then immediately after decided not to persue it. But then they continued to have sex occassionally, at some points in time more than at others. And we know for sure they've had sex as recently as Drive.

[wendelah1]

And Mulder's falling down on his end of the deal by doing a
lousy job of making the bed; it's impossible to convince myself
that this really is nothing.

The layers upon layers of denial go way too deep for me to accept this. It's too much, even for them. For me. LOL.

And we know for sure they've had sex as recently as Drive.

We know that because of a later story, though, right? We don't know that now, or do we? Did I miss one of his subtle hints? LOL.

make me think he was going to end it with them 'escaping into obscurity' or something - getting out of the fight. I can never imagine the story going that way, and I don't want to imagine it. I'm one of those people who read Dancing Skeleton Day and hoped it meant Mulder and Scully were coming back.

Interesting. Yeah, the ending for Sokol did not make me very happy, though I can see why it had to end that way. I can't imagine them leaving the fight either--which is half the reason I disliked IWTB as much as I did.

I have to go post the next three stories.

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

We know that because of a later story, though, right?

Right, because of The Fall of Our Summer, which is possibly my favorite KvsS7 fic.

Should I be warning for spoilers?

I can't imagine them leaving the fight either--which is half the reason I disliked IWTB as much as I did.

Whereas, I know Khyber has said he liked IWTB, and from what I remember he liked it largely because they got out. But don't quote him on that, obviously.

[bmerb.livejournal.com]

Wait how do we know they had sex as recently as Drive? I didn't get that from these three fics

[amyhit.livejournal.com]

Pretty sure I was referencing ahead to The Fall of Our Summer. But it's been so long I can't remember for sure.

The timeline for KvS7 is pretty tricky to piece together, but from what I recall it's also pretty consistent, if one takes the time.